Living on Purpose
Join us for this REAL TALK about living on purpose and creating your happiest life.
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/buddhified/message
I'm Nicole, a copywriter helping mindful authors and entrepreneurs to tell their story, and your Buddhified host.
Joanna Naughton is one of my favorite entrepreneur colleagues: a mindset coach for passionate professionals. Read all about how to work with her on her website.
Living on Purpose
Join us for this REAL TALK about living on purpose and creating your happiest life.
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/buddhified/message
I'm Nicole, a copywriter helping mindful authors and entrepreneurs to tell their story, and your Buddhified host.
Joanna Naughton is one of my favorite entrepreneur colleagues: a mindset coach for passionate professionals. Read all about how to work with her on her website.
Hello there and now I must stay. My name is Niccol, and I'm your host for the Booty Fed podcast. Now, you may not know this, but before the beautify podcast, there were coffee hours. They happened weekly on Facebook and on our dedicated channel. And we had so much fun. I was lucky enough to interview some of the coolest people out there and chat about marketing and business and entrepreneurship. Basically all the topics that now believe that podcast we take so much deeper with the tonne of value that was just sitting on my hard drive, I chose to add some of the best coffee hours that we have recorded. I asked Bones episodes on both beautified podcast and our YouTube channel, and this is one of them. So tune in, have fun and let me know what you think, either writing in the comment section or via email to Nicole at beautified dot com. So thank you so much for joining us. Still, I and you know the first thing I always ask before we even dive into anything else. When I have the joy and the you know, the honour of being, you know, with someone on air. The first thing I was ask is, what's your favourite way to drink your coffee if you drink coffee?
So thus that's interesting. Well, actually, you know, you just said if you drink coffee, I am a decaf coffee drinker, which you know, which is unfortunate. And I'll kind of get into the reason why actually at some point, probably over our conversation, that Yeah, a little bit of milk, definitely no sugar. My husband would kill me if I put sugar in it. He's really kind of, you know, coffee buff. You know, he laughs that he loves it, you know? It's got to be all it's got to be freshly ground. It's got to be, you know, no milk, no sugar. But yeah, I just have a little bit of milk in my decaf coffee
and you and you. But you didn't switch to tea with just like the, you know, the British cliche. How they have the rest of the world sees you guys write.
So I probably am much more of a tea drinker again. It's the decaf, but I am. I am. You know, I stick to that British stereotype of Let's have a nice cup of tea. Yes, that's pervaded that I'm both to the gas, as my mom would say. Oh, let's have a lovely cup of tea. All right, That let's get
t our future. Okay, Thank you so much for that, Joe. And let's just go on a truce in you before because before we dive into today's topic, which is living on purpose and we have amazing I'm just so excited for for this coffee. I want to do this with you. But again, before we dive in, I'd love for you to share. I'm a bit of your path into what I know is not just your business, but is your calling. So would you share with us just a little? You know, about your storey and how and when the pivot happened for you.
Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, I am. I'm a mindset coach on DH. I also, you know, a writer absolute love writing and speak up. And I get to work with amazing pretty much all women. It seems today amazing women all around the world supporting them in mastering their mindset. So this mindset matters Month for you is a brilliant thing and I'm really excited to be part of it. I I have bean coaching for for a long time, almost 10 years. But a lot of that was through the fact that I was a teacher. I was a private school teacher, and then I was lucky enough to do some coaching certifications on DH. Then my main job, rather than teaching the Children, was tow coach on mental. The teachers on DH. I then had an education consultant see where I went around the UK, working in lots of different schools, coaching and mentoring consulting, which I absolutely loved. You know, it really wass it really kind of lit me up. I always had loved teaching, sharing knowledge on value, but the coaching was kind of adding another dimension to May because the coaching was really about rather than me. Showing up is the expert, you know, knowing knowing what I was helping someone in and leading them, advising them in lots of ways. The coaching came from a very different place, where actually I was trusting the person I was working with, that they were the expert because the subject was themselves the subject with their own lives. on DH. That was a really powerful thing coming from a place where it was about me really quieting down, asking, asking the right questions, reflecting things back, challenging them when things might need to be challenged, championing them, you know, at all possible opportunities on really seeing them as the expert in their own lives to help them. To really feel that and to trust themselves was amazing. But actually a kind of the rial pivot happened for May. You think it was, you know, kind of prior to that, but actually it was still within that coaching journey where I am almost two years ago now, something happened where I basically banged my head really badly and suffered a brain injury. Had swelling on my brain on it caused a lot of problems. As you can imagine it, it caused a lot of problems with speech on DSO. Doing anything like this was an absolute no gofer. Now, at least the first year, if not longer after that happened on DH, you know, memories went lots of different things were really, really tricky on DH. In that time of having to really look at my own mind, my own brain. How it was working, how it wasn't working, thinking about moving forwards. What it actually gave me was was an amazing gift. It gave me the the time, the opportunity that it pushed May to really look at my life on DH. What I valued about it, What I loved what? Maybe I didn't love what may be drained some energy from Mei. What patterns and habits I was in what storeys I've been telling myself that maybe didn't serve Mai what skills and strengths I had. And so we're thinking about moving forwards. I started to I supposed to really design my life to rather than let it happen to May. I started to to create it, to do it on purpose on DH, to think about combining all of those things that I loved, combining those skills, taking away anything that didn't feel fully right to me. And so, for example, the one element of my previous life that didn't feel fully right Wass thie agendas working with an education. So the agendas that were put on the teachers I was working with so that their goals were things to do with you no more with targets Yes, school rather than their own personal development goals on DH. So since then, I now have created on my my own business my own kind of newer business where I'm still coaching. But I'm coaching just with individuals or around the world. Who oh, coming from a place where they are They're really ready to master their mindsets to trust themselves. Teo feel authentically them in all aspects of their lives, to find their purpose, to work towards that. And that is just the most amazing and fulfilling thing. You know, I work. I literally at the moment feel like I do not have a job. I don't you know, it's not work. This is this is my life. This is because I've created it intentionally. You know, none of this has happened to me. I've happened to it. And that's kind of how I see the world now. The world doesn't just happen to maybe I am happening to the world because I'm actively creating it on that such a powerful place to come from. And so my kind of mission is to be able to help as many people as possible to come from the same sort of space, hopefully without having to suffer a brain injury to do it, that
will hopefully. But you know, your euro for for going through there. And I love how you put that that you know, your your life isn't happening to you anymore. But you happen to your life because I think and, you know, just like full disclosure When don't I get to talk And we took forever. So we had, like, 1/2 an hour warm up today. And we talked for more than hour yesterday because, you know, way just it just goes on and on right on. One of the things we talked about wass how hard it is sometimes that even when you feel the pull off a different life or like you put it so perfectly when you look at your life and reflect on your life, there are things that make you happy and fulfil you, and they are part of it can be part of it that kind off, you know, drain you and pull you down. And Andi, I know we talked about this before, but I would love for you to share it with with the listeners today. on what you would suggest if those parts of drain you are the parts, you know that the world knows a few like when you're a wordsmith, right? But you feel that you want to shift our or pivot, Or were we just your sales for, you know, towards whatever right? Or just rethink your business model, or even to something entirely else, right? Or just You might change your life to make it 100% you and create something that makes you insanely happy. Which is what I what I wish upon every single one of our listeners and my colleagues, right to just have a life that makes you so, so happy that you're couples running over and you can spill that happiness Nablus onto the community and the people around you, though. So back to my along. One question, Um, when when someone feels there, they have, you know, clarity on what would make them super happy and insanely happy. But there are parts of their life that they feel they can't let go because ofthe what other people think about the community will think what their colleagues will think. You know that that that that keeps you in your lane even though you feel that that plane isn't in sync with your purpose and your your dreams.
Yes. And you know yes. So how did they kind of start to let that go on? DH, I think you know the rial ki of me on the difference that that I felt personally, you know, a couple of years ago, I was kind of running in that rat race, and I was really you know, to me, stress was almost a badge of honour. Stress and anxiety were just things that you had to have that serious I don't have How that's how you live your life. Stress meant I was hardworking. Yes, didn't have it then. I must not be hard working. And, you know, I saw that as a negative thing on anxiety kept me safe. You know, if I wasn't anxious that I might do things that were dangerous or risky and, you know, bad things might happen. Where is the journey that I've been on with my own coaches and continue to go on because personal growth and development is a continued journey which you know I love you. I will forever be on that journey and be loving it.
And that's the beauty of it, isn't it?
Yeah, it's like it's such
a thing. Feeling off, growing all the time every single day and getting closer to, like, you know, living your life. Like, you know, be yourself.
Yes, nice. It's the loving. It's the loving. That journey as kind of cliche is that Khun Sound? It's the it's rather than looking to the destination, because with some, you know, with getting to know ourselves with being ourselves with being authentically us, it's not a destination to get, too. We can't ever get to a point in our lives where we compress, pause and say, brilliant. Let's keep it like that forever. That's not how things work. You know, we have to love the journey along the way on DH. Love the growth on I think, you know, going back to to your question of how how people could could start to do this. I think it really is about looking at the in our journey rather than your outer journey. It's about seeing that you are only ever going to live your life through your eyes, and you are never as much as you try to, you are never going to be able to live in anyone else's skin. You're never gonna really, truly know what they're thinking and feeling, You know you're never going. Tio truly be able to affect a lot of external things that we'd all love to be able to effect, maybe fix and sort. But the one thing that you have access to and control over is your inner journey your inner world on, that's where for me, the mindset you know, your own, your own values and beliefs and thoughts on DH. Therefore, feelings and actions are the things that we can look at control. You know, the mind loves familiarity, and the mind loves to feel autonomous. To feel like we are in control ofthe what's going on because we feel like we're out of control, then that's when all the, you know, all that kind of stuff happens. That's when we start to feel the anxiety. The Depression on DH. The only way to feel like we are in control at all times is to realise that the only thing we can control is our in a journey. If we are trying to control Manipulate saw Rex Rescue fix anything in the outer world. Any other people, Any other events, then then we're already kind of setting ourselves up to fall. So to me, the initial steps of looking at your own inner journey and your mindset is looking at to specific things looking at your values and looking at your beliefs. So, looking at your values, those I suppose those needs inside you, the things that drive you from your core to take all action on also stopping taking action, create in action in your life. You know those things that those things like Connexion on DH, maybe significance on DH. You know, things like freedom and joy. Maybe, you know, money is something that you value something that drives you forwards. And it's about looking at how you can align those things to all of the actions you decide on moving forward. You can look at how to fulfil those values in a way that doesn't take away from any of your other values that keeps him in balance on that keeps them topped up in a really positive and uplifting and empowering way rather than keeping them topped up in a way that's actually disempowering, which seems kind of an odd thing to say that you can get your values met in disempowering ways. But if you think of something like the value of Connexion, yes, let's have that convey a k. Dre because we can absolutely see that as a cage. We can have Connexion. We can crave connexions actually with people who hurt us. People disempower us, but we still are getting that value. That need for Connexion topped up. So it it feels like we're living to our values and that's you know what we're doing. But we know we're not fully intention on intentionally aware ofthe how to fulfil those values a really positive way on. Then you know as well as values the beliefs. The work that I do around beliefs with my clients is some of the most powerful, you know, kind of stuff that you, khun you can imagine. It's that it's that idea that we are living our lives based on based on decisions that we have made often when we are very young, you know, the ages of kind of 45678 normally come up when I did deep into where people's beliefs have come from. And if you think about those ages, their ages, where we don't necessarily feel autonomous over our own lives, they are ages where we are, are being shown certain ways, told certain things by people around us, maybe our parents, and maybe through completely positive and good intentions of trying to keep us safe. But a lot of the beliefs that we hold actually can really hold us back, and by digging into them and on looking at where they come from and working on shifting them and re framing some of those things is just the most powerful work you can do. So you know, I would say to anybody as a start to this sort of journey, or even if you're already on it on, you know, you're just continuing. Keep looking at anything you can about values and about beliefs on DH, you know, reading books around it, you know, working with coaches who can support you on on digging into it deeper. You know, even talking to friends, family members about what your values are about. What your beliefs are, is is one of the best ways Teo really compound this amazing journey of self growth and discovery.
And what would that be? Your your your tip for a first step. Also, if you if you look to disentangle yourself from feeling judged in from feeling, watched at okay because it'll make it super clear for for, you know, for our listeners because that's something I hear again again when people say Okay, I would love to, you know, follow my big crazy dream. Right? But but this is what What's expected of me. This is what I do for 10 years or, you know, different reasons. Of course, on DH, I don't feel like I could just switch lanes or turn around or pivot or, you know, re just myself forward for, like, what feels to the outer world like a completely different goal, right? So they would be like, Is she crazy now? So So you feel judged and watched on. And I love how you explain that that it all starts from from like, sparking and Kim bling that awareness within right for your for your beliefs and for your values, kind of killing them into action for yourself.
I mean, you know, feeling judged feeling watched, you know, worrying about what other people think on DH comparing yourself to other people's to other people. This all comes from some beliefs that you're holding my even the one core belief that you have taken on That means that you moving forwards feels like a dangerous thing. So I just kind of, you know, briefly tell you literally. Yesterday I posted a video on my own Facebook into my Facebook group. I'm talking about a belief that I had been working on recently, You know, I've been I've been working on myself during this person Obama black fur a while now, and yet they're still half things that I have to constantly kind of revisit on DH. One of the things that I realised was that part of me still held this belief that sharing my success is my happiness, my winds. You know, all the amazing things that are happening for me was actually a dangerous thing, that I actually had to be careful not to share these things to, openly or not to be, um ah, not Teo kind of share them in a way that made them feel like a big deal. because that would be me showing off and me showing would be wrong on DH. You know, on the reaction could be that maybe people would be jealous and therefore people would judge May on DH. The overriding feeling I kept having was that this was dangerous. Yeah, just that, you know, I shouldn't do it because I didn't want to come across is conceited or whatever that this was dangerous. So literally over the last week, I've been digging into in the way I know how been digging into where that belief came from and why it feels in my physiology and everything. It feels dangerous to May on what I came back to was my worst moment off this belief, which was compounded because often if we if we find a belief, something that's maybe holding us back to something like, I'm not good enough, I'm not clever enough. Life is really hard. I can't do that. I can't do that if we find one of those beliefs. One of the best things for us to do is to try and look for our memories of that on. Look for the first or the worst for both memory to the first memory of that belief or the worst memory on for me. The worst memory of that belief was was something that happened when I was 16 and I was I was basically beaten up and attacked. I'm quite badly by two girls at my school who at the time as it was happening, no event that led up to it. I haven't done anything, said anything. They just kind of, you know, jumped on me in in the toilets of a party we were at. They didn't say anything as it was happening, and so I had nothing. There was a gap in my mind for why this had happened. And our unconscious minds do not like gaps. They like
us radio Candrea. See what the sources. So you feel like you are in danger all the time because
exactly that. So my unconscious mind made up the meaning to that. Andi made up the meaning to that based on something that was said to me straight afterwards, when some, um, older friend of my sister's actually he was driving me home and I was, you know, it's kind of sobbing and saying in a way, this happened and he just kept saying, as a lot of people would on we complete pure intentions at the time. They're just jealous. They're just jealous. Yeah. And of course, what that did was I filled in the blanks in my mind saying, If people are jealous of May, then that really dangerous thing I am going to know only emotionally, psychologically, But physically I will be hurt if people just they cannot do anything in my life that might make people jealous. So although I've had amazing success is in my life, I realised that I found it hard to share that I'm very good at sharing my vulnerabilities on being open about that. I'm actually, you know, I actually really, really enjoy failing at things sometimes because I'm kind of excited because that means I've got something new to learn and I can, you know, Yeah, try getting problem self. But success is something that has felt hard of the metre, really embrace on particularly felt hard of me to embrace, you know, in a vocal way. And just identifying that on then starting through a process of you know, is that actually even true. Is there actual evidence that supports that, you know. Why did my mind come up with that? And it came up that consciously dissecting Andrey lately dissecting it, looking at it from my conscious mind on DH, then deciding what I want to think instead on I'm. Now, over the last few days, I have been consciously telling myself that you know what I want to think instead, You know, I that was my old belief. And now I choose to believe that sharing my success is my winds my happiness when I share them from such a genuine place as I always will do because that's who I am, then I will inspire other people and I will continue to inspire myself. There are always gonna be people who you know who feel negative seeing other people's success. And that's fine. And I'm going to let them have their journey. But actually, the people who I want to reach will be inspired by that.
I don't tell you Put that I really I really love how you put that. You know, one of the things that that you know, you have those mantras inside your head That kind of help you. You know with situations that kind off. You know, when you feed, you start to feel Annie's, especially this in this vast on then world and you and you kind of, you know, you kind off. That's kind of the connecting to the trouble. Is that what sharing winds and are all, you know? Friendly, easy to share, learns orphan, easy to share wins? I know that that's really up to. It's really very personal, Um, feeling right? What? What comes easier to you. But I think it's always you always think twice before you share something online in the open right on DH. One of the things that that I that I for myself, was like a mantra is to really blessed release and that everyone have their journey. But that doesn't mean it's mine or I can let you put before or I can. You said. It's a wonderfully before you can't influence anything external, other people, you know, other happenings, other lifelines on their journeys. You can only work on your own, right? Absolutely. And I really love that one question that came up a couple days ago, Andi, I loved it and I would love to and I kind of forward it to you if I How about if you feel you're, you know, on your own path on your journey and you're working or even feel like you already managed to act and live from a place of abundance. We talked about this couple months back in that in a different coffee hour. So you feel like you're right there in your place of abundance. Building a business, building a life from a place of purpose, A place of love and serving right. But you feel like if you share your your path, your vulnerability is your your wins. He learns they are a lot of people out there who are not in this place of abundance, who are soon, you know, place of scarcity. And one win means another one's loss right on DH. If you know that's the fear that those comments and reactions and you know that were kind of overshadow and be louder than your voice off. As you said, um inspiring others to dare to dream big.
Yes, yes, I think what's really interesting about that is that we can see a real authenticity in other people. You know, we're all we all have a rise, you know, wide open enough two to see that when someone is coming from a place of rial, genuine authenticity and when they are sharing their winds, their successes from a place off that as opposed to almost a kind of tool to try and lure people in and for some reason, or or some sort of, you know, you know, coming from a place. And they really have got too big for their boots or or, you know, kind of showing off conceited sort of place. We we feel that's genuine, um, energy that someone's putting out there when they're sharing. So I think the first thing is Tio is to trust that if you are sharing something genuinely and authentically, and if you are sharing it from a place of love and kindness and sharing and serving, if it's coming from that place, that purpose, then then you have to trust that the right people will love that. One of the I'm literally kind of sat here in my in my study at the moment as we're chatting and on the wall behind my laptop, I have got takes it that a list of all of my really powerful empowering beliefs that I have taken on board and that I have taken chosen based on all of the disempowering beliefs that I had kind of dug into over my journey on DH. One of the things up there is that the right people love may because of my beliefs. Wass that, you know, some people don't like May or even lots of people don't like me or people might not like May on coming from that place When I was when I believed that whether that's true or not and it probably is true and actually hopefully is true, you know. Actually, if I am being really, really being may inal the kind of vibrant facets of May, then I hope that some people are like, Oh my God, she is way too much Or she Is this about, you know, that spy with May. So that's the issue with me, continuing to tell myself people don't like many people won't like May. Some people went like Mai is that That's what I then put my focus on Andi Thinkit's Tony Robbins, who says, you know where your focus goes. Energy flows so when I start to focus on people won't like May Then I look for people not liking may Just like when I you know when I decide that I might want a new car on I want, you know, Red Mini on DH Suddenly everywhere. Oh, there a red menace. That's not a coincidence. That is because you, you know, you've put your focus there so find focusing on people not liking me. Then that is what I see. When I then changed and reframed that eye now completely to my core believe that the right people love may. That is where my focus goes on DH. So the response is that I get the energy that I draw towards May is loving energy from the right people. So I'm sure there are plenty of people over the last year or so. Who have you disliked? What I've done. I've even had negative comments, probably on post that had done or people talking about it, or reactions or facial expressions or things that I could have read into. I haven't noticed any of them. I really haven't, because my focus has bean on the right people loving may,
you know, I really I really adore her. You put that I do believe, you know, like you said, I love Tony Robinson. Not off the things he says Do so ring true, right? And can't move walls out of the way on your path, right, Move road plugs. And one of the things is that if you, you know, if you Andi actually love how this connects to marketing when I say if you focus on serving your dream clients and focus on having a really clear picture inside your head visualising that putting it on a paper, pinning up the office whatever works for you to make that ruling inside yourself off the person, the group the you know, the market, that kind of project you one working you want to serve that would make you so insanely happy and kind of create that area of business place for you. And if you focus on that, the rest starts to fall away. You start to attract their lately, and I have worked on that with your with your marketing, be it, you know, writing content for for that person, your idea, one person if I could land that person got a would be so happy I wouldn't sleep for a week. I would be so happy, I So if you start writing content for that person and and showing up for that person online or, you know, whatever they are basically researching where where they where they are, how they how their value, Like what kind of content they value the most. Read how you conserve them best before ever thinking about a picture or say, Because I know we both talked about before this before then we both believe in bringing value to the table. And then, naturally, you you become the obvious choice, right? When the time is right to business. Yeah. So I love how that connects and interacts with what you just said that if you put energy into all the love that circles around what you do and your purpose in the world than the rest kind off, you know, falls away, right? Don't even give that energy.
It absolutely does. And I think you know, kind of saying before people really can see when you're coming from a genuine energy on that energy, Um, just really kind of emanates from you and as you said. You start to then attract what you want. So if you start to put your focus on certain things, then he almost just feels like you said. Things fall away and you attract things back. One of things I started doing just just kind of see how how this works and how powerful this could be. So probably about a month ago, I started telling myself and creating new belief around the fact that I create clients with ease on. I just kept telling myself there, and I kept kind of meditating on it on A lot of my gratitude practise would be around that my intention setting would be around. I create clients with ease. So this idea that they come to May and they come to me with energy and with positivity and with purpose and enthusiasm on DH. Amazing Clea in the last month and 1/2 particularly in the last kind of, you know, two or three weeks I have taken on more clients than I ever have. I've got, you know, kind of, you know, pretty much along kind of waiting list now to people wanting to work with me, but I've taken them on. Not through me having to do anything to to reach out to them, not having to sell to them in any conversations we've had. I haven't. I haven't been the one bringing up. You know how they can work with May or having to. I kind of convinced them on prices or anything like that. They have bean at the end of our conversation saying, Right, How do we do this? You know, how can I write? How could I do this? How can I pay you? How can we move forwards? You know, this is exactly what I need. They've come to May on DH. That really is. You know, I've changed my focus. My focus now is not on. You know, I said before the old me was You have to feel stressed or I'm not working hard. Cassidy Now it's really focused on. I don't I don't actually have to work really hard. I don't have to grind to be able to build my business in the way that I truly want to build it. Ahs long as I have my mindset. Right on. As long as I put out that energy into the world of genuine caring on DH kindness and compassion and sharing and serving other people. Ondas, Houston and of really knowing those idea appliance. There's people I want to serve us well, on putting that energy out, that to them. Then those things just seem to Teo
plan to place. Yeah, Andi, I think this is how it Because this is where becomes really interesting even for the casual observer here. Because I know that one of the biggest roadblocks and a lot of fellow wordsmith, you know, business building activities is the pitch and making the sale. I think if you love what you're doing, you know, when the project is on the roll, you love the craft of it, the creative creativity of it. You know that doing right, then a lot of people are still stuck and remain stuck, undercutting themselves price wise And also just just the activity ofthe negotiating right and standing up for themselves, trashing their value, charging, charging their work that gives people goose bumps, you know, hard populations on DH, I believe. Like like if you really like, if you have that clear picture off who you want to serve, if you know why you do what you do if you are positive that this is what you want to do for at least the time being right and who you want to serve with this. And if you do your to the audience and I know that you show up with videos, right and you have a Facebook month on DH for other people, it could be a block or instagram or both. Whatever feels good and fields, you know, comes natural comes easy to them. Like you said, there's no need to Brian. That's just me to to stand out and, you know, plant your flag and say, This is me This is what I believe in This is what I do. This is what I'm here for right on DSEC your valiant context to the path of the lifetime movie off of your client's right of the people you want to work with.
You know, none of this may saying, you know, there's no need to kind of, you know, really grind for its. You know, I put a lot of work and effort into my business and, you know, I I spend a lot of time doing that, but it comes from such a a purposeful place. It comes from a place where everything I'm doing is designed to move me forward, to continue this amazing journey and continue to build something that I absolutely love on. For that to spread into my, you know, massively into my wider life and then into the wider lives of my friends and family of people around me and inspire them because it's coming from that place. It doesn't feel like a grinded. Yes, like a kind of stressful hard work is what's interesting that you just said there as well. Nicola's is something that is so common in entrepreneurs around the that money and around charging and around the struggles they have for really asking for what they're worth on DH that I mean, that is something that was one of the biggest shift may. Working with my own coach was to specifically work on my mindset around money. It is absolutely, you know, crazy when you really start to dig into that and realise how much you are standing in your own way in terms of making money, earning money, particularly an entrepreneur. When when you started digging into what your beliefs around money are what your values around money are on DH and how you see that You know how Sorry. No, no. Where is how? How you've kind of grown up what your parents views of money where what you would accept money were what the people around us views of money are. How you're currently living in a lot of us, that kind of living in this almost first date around money coming at it either from a place of complete scarcity and therefore there is fear and need and desperation around it on that really is a difficult place to come from if you're tryingto act to earn money on earned money in a way that feels comfortable and feels congruent to who you are and so digging into those you know, those beliefs and that work for Mei specifically around money was where massive shifts happened to may, you know, sorting my mindset around that to the point where, as I say I no longer you know, when I discussed money with clients, I discussed it in such a natural way. This is just This is what it is on DH on almost in a kind of way of, you know that they are lucky that I am allowing them to invest in themselves. Absolutely. You know, that's an amazing place to come from, or money doesn't even come into it. I don't I never feel like I'm selling I Funnily enough, one of the clients that I took on earlier this week. She's another coach on. One of the things I do is mental coaches as well as coaching individuals on DH. Well, we just had a chat. We kind of connected it the first time we chatted and we were literally just chatting away. And I was kind of talking to her about, you know, coaching and about lots of different things. And no point did it occur to May to try and sell her on anything. It wasn't my intention at all. We were just kind of connecting. And then she started asking about the different programmes I did and different things, and I started just talking, you know, telling her again, not in a way of seeing whether she wanted to work with me. Just this is what I do because you've asked on. Then, at the end of that conversation, she suddenly said, Right, I need you, I need to hire you And the reason is because I need to know and learn how to do what you just did And I said, What do you mean? And she said, Well, you literally just solved a 1,000,000 problems for May completely served may, but also sold May where I now want to pay you a hell of a lot of money for your foot programme. Just thought my minds out, you know, and you've done that without selling anything to May. You've done that. I'm willing. I don't even know how much it costs. And I'm willing to pay whatever because,
yeah, that's the best conversations like you really connect with someone at eye level. It's a win win situation, the best of ways, and it's just like an exchange of value, right? It's not even like like how much money is like, How do you exchange values of both? Walk away a winner, right? Yes, I love that and I want to stress, and it's something I I just wanna make sure we stay on air because I know we talked about this before, that this kind of money roadblock that can be massive. I can be one of the biggest roadblocks. I believe between you and your big crazy business treatment, which is a life from also right, because we are business a solo produces as small business owners. Is that that? You know, As I said, the money rope can be a huge topic for you, even if you feel like, well, I want to make money That's clear, right? And I mean that. That's why I'm in this right. Fewer millionaires. Who do you know be scuba diving and reading and, you know, a library, whatever. But even if you feel like you very consciously in it for the money, if you feel like you're crystal clear, you want to make money, you're worse. The money you you study long time, you know, whatever your past iss you invested in your business and your own development in your scales and your craft and everything, and you're you're happy and ready to get that back out of it and to make money from it, right, Even if that's your your stand and you feel like it's critically for you, there can still be massive money roadblocks, which you
saw. Absolutely. There is a massive difference between what our conscious minds know and think and feel on what our unconscious minds no and thinking field on. We live in our unconscious minds 90% of the time. You know, we're living from old storeys, old patterns, old habits. Old memories were living from a place where unconscious minds are geared towards negativity, bias geared towards, you know, needing familiarity, even if that familiarity is a negative, harmful, disempowering thing on DSO. Although consciously, of course, as Solo preneurs, we would all say yes, I want to make money, you know, from a conscious place. Absolutely. From a conscious place, we can all say, Of course, I want success from a conscious place we can all say, Of course I'm good enough to do this. I've got all the skills, but that's very different. Two. From where our unconscious mind is coming from on our unconscious mind needs some teaching. Basically, a good way to look at our unconscious mind is to see it as a five year old child. It really does need talking to it needs taking care of it needs looking after it needs guiding in the way that you would to a five year old child because it's sensitive and it's also can be sometimes unpredictable on DH. It can come from a place off reacting quickly based on deep emotions and feelings rather than from a a place of real conscious intention on DH. So basically, what we're doing when I'm talking about reframing and looking and digging into these beliefs that we hold in our values is we're learning how to talk to our unconscious mind. We're learning how to get on the same page as our unconscious mind and take it out on the fear state. Even if you don't think you're living in a fierce state. If there are any blocks, if there's any place you feel stuck, if you're no actually fulfilling and achieving the dreams that you have for yourself yet you are working on them, then there is some block there. You know there is something going on on, usually
off bravely moving forward and moving toward those
goals. Absolutely. You know, you know you're taking all the action, you're doing everything you possibly can, Yet it's not happening.
So if you feel like like you adjust you in it to win it. You're doing all the steps. Like, were you doing all the things you market yourself? You learn. You keep developing your business. You keep your balls in your yourself, right? It always goes hand in hand. A few person developing the business development is like an ongoing path and goes hand in hand, feel on DH. You do all those things and you feel like maybe you're just unlucky, right? Some somehow the right people don't come in. Come your way, right. Don't find you online. Don't knock on your door on its a lot off. You know a lot ofthe abbe not overflow for you. Um, that could be or that that points towards a block inside your unconscious mind.
Yes, absolutely. You know, if you really are taking all of their action, if you if you really do know that this is what you want to do and you're doing everything you possibly can on things still aren't coming, come feeling like they're flowing to you. Then they can't flow to you because there's a block somewhere on. That might just be one tiny thing that if you know, if unravelled, if we get to the start of that kind of tangled piece of thread on DH. Realise that it's just this one little thing, Andi, you know, that could be unravelled in very quickly. The path ahead. Khun, Khun start to flow And I think, you know, life. Lots of us kind of, you know, band around that sentence, that life is hard, life is hell and we just got to kind of accept It's hard and we've gotta grind and, you know, that's how it is. As I said before, If if we see life, that's that, whether that's true or not, whether it's fact or not, if we see life is that and focus on that, then we will create hard lives for ourselves if used. If you tell yourself that you have toe, you know, work really, really hard and grind and that things should be difficult in order for you to get what you want to pay, then then that's look for. And I'm not saying that everything is gonna be easy. I'm not saying there aren't gonna be challenges, but those challenges will be a breath of fresh air. Those challenges exciting those challenges. Growth spurts, right? Every time e Think one of the most amazing beliefs that you could take on if you know, if any, that I will kind of almost give t people listening. Is that strong belief that learning and growth is the most powerful tool we hold? If you told yourself that every day learning and growth is the most powerful tool we hold. If you told yourself that every morning and is if every evening you asked yourself how how did learning and growth show up as a powerful tool for me today? Then you would start to see that those challenges that come by those difficulties those things from the external world that Khun seem, you know, like a failure on DH seen as that as being a negative thing on DH scene is unsurmountable. Actually, you'll start to get excited by that. You know, when I found this belief in many the other day, this belief that sharing my success was dangerous Um, I was excited. I was like, fantastic, you know? Yes, this is something that's holding you back, and this is really difficult. And I could have gone into a bit of a depression about that. I could have got anxious about it. But actually, because I know that learning growth, this the most powerful tool I have. I was super excited to have dug down and find it. Found this belief because I knew that now I found it. I could move forwards and learn and grow and develop even further. And that's a really exciting place to come from.
And the beauty of it is if you just just just take what you just said, which you know, I love how you how you put that the beautiful is if you see learning and developing and growing and evolving towards your you know your your life of bliss. Basically, compare me a single biggest thing to propel you forward and your your single biggest tool. That's something that doesn't cost you any money, right? It's a mindset thing. It's, um it's it's how you surround yourself with with inspiration and, you know, just just be a podcast. Be people that you that you kind of look up to that you read up on right on all those great things that you could just come in it and make work for you. One of the things I I usually say I feel like a broken record, but I want to stress that is how is how if you if you're just 0.1% better every single day than a year from now, you will turn around and look back to this day, right? August 16 2019. And you were like, Oh, my gosh, the You know, the ground I want for myself, right? Momentum. I created the growth I see from that person to to me today, right? All those things can can just if you add up this, like tiny little pieces off off, learning off, making decisions that are in line with your goals and your dreams and those things add up to a huge strike to make for herself.
Yes, I love that enough. That definitely and likeness. Don't you know that kind of collective approach to, you know, just just one tiny thing. Because sometimes things can feel so overwhelming, can't they? We've got deleted all these thoughts, nor these things that we need to do. But knowing that you know the ocean is is not just one big body of water. The ocean is millions and trillions of trouble it's Yeah, I know. The sand is, you know is, you know, millions trillions of tiny grains of sand. Even though we see it as one big thing on DH, I think that's that's so powerful to keep reminding yourself of that. Yes, something. What one thing can I do today? What one step can I take today that will get me just a tiny bit closer to that dream life that I I'm creating for myself?
I love that show. Thank you so much for sharing that one final question. I wantto throw your way today. I know we talked about living on purpose, and I know it's your business name and also kind of the mantra you shared with me when we first talked. I know that I remember that, but I would like to and this is kind of connecting back to when we talked about credit journaling a couple months back. When we first had one on air together and morning routines. I would like to to to give just just some action items too. You know, all the words entrepreneurs that feel stuck and peanut land who want to shift but don't really there to dream big. Is there something that you can share in terms ofthe morning routine or daily? You know, Davey steps just tiny things to be put into action to make that dream come closer.
Yeah, absolutely so one of the things. Obviously, as you said, we talked about last time when we talk about gratitude, journaling But it has to be said again. You know, we can't say enough and emphasise enough the power of gratitude in our lives on that comes from that idea that where focus goes energy flows, we can only feel one strong emotion at any one time. So if we decide to choose and create that emotion, then we are pushing out any other. So, for example, we can't feel tremendous love on tremendous anger. At the same time, we might feel sometimes like we do, but I promise you, you're not. You're swinging between the two. You know, we cannot therefore feel gratitude and amazing gratitude at the same time as feeling frustrated or feeling hurt or feeling upset on dso kind of with that knowledge of there's just this one thing, this one emotion that we can fill ourselves up with anyone. Time then why not choose that emotion? And so what I do every single day is I decide what feeling I want to create that day on gratitude is often, you know, kind of part of that. One of the things you know, I give myself every day a feeling, an emotion or a word that kind of sums up what I'm creating and doing it on purpose, you know, living on purpose, creating rather than feeling like the world is happening to me. So it might be something like open, you know, kind of wanting the whole day just to feel open or energy or calm or love or gratitude or purpose or desire. You know, whatever it is choosing that one thing that I keep coming back to, And I always write that down. And I always put it kind of on my desk, just behind my laptop on keep just looking at it. Keep just referring to it so that I remember that thing that I want to create, Um, on DH. Another thing is Teo really set those intentions, but set those intentions from a place of purpose. So rather than setting a list ofthe jobs that you've got to Do you know what? Do I What do I need to do today? Come at it more from that. Who do I want to be today often, for example, with kids And I, you know, was he went to teacher for a long time on lots of wood. Say to kids, what do you want to do when you grow up? You know, really free. Focusing on on the action, which is, you know, really important for us to do. Definitely. But focusing also on your job defining you the question I always ask kids was Who do you wanna be when you grow up? Do you want to pay? You know I want to be happy. I want to be joyful. I want to be someone that shares my gifts for the world. I want to help people. I wantto you know, whatever it is. So who do I want to be today and setting intentions from that sort of place? Um And then I think another thing which is which is absolutely key is is what I've said already about looking at the beliefs that come up. So being aware of the self talk that you have both negative and positive self talk on DH kind of setting that intention in the morning that throughout the day you're just gonna keep being aware off the self talk you have. So it's kind of that mindfulness idea, I suppose, or what we do in meditation where we are aware of the thoughts. We don't judge the thoughts we don't try. It's not weird trying to push them away or bring something else in. But we're just aware of, Um, we just hear them and we step back as if we are dissociated from them. Is if it's not us thinking them, you know, we are not our thoughts. We have to remember that we are not our thoughts. We can step back on DH and watch them and listen to them as if they are kind of in the third person. On. When we do that, we're mindful of them. Just start to listen. Teo. The self talk that you have on whether that self talk is serving you and three questions kind of come to mind whenever that happens with May what something comes up, I asked myself, What storey am I telling myself what storey. Am I telling myself So what is that self talk? What is it saying? I kind of dig into it and I look at you know what's around that on then? And then I kind of say to myself What? You know, How is this serving Mai on guy? Look at moving forwards played a whole storey out. If I continue to think this thing, how might my day go? How might I feel? You know what might happen and how is that serving may? Ultimately, if I decide it's not serving me, it's negative, limiting self talk. I then say what else could be true and I keep it very open. What else could be true? What else could I choose to tell myself? That will be arm or empowering more uplifting to me in this moment on moving forwards? And then I continue to tell myself that and that in itself and talked a lot about digging into your beliefs and, you know, it can be a It's an amazing process to go through. And it can be something that, for example, of coach can support you on but at a basic level. Just asking yourself those three questions is a great way into starting to look at and reframe some of those dismembering beliefs that you've had.
I love that I Janet them down. I hope a lot of people did. But there will be part of, you know, when we sent out the Monday Muse letter, we will live like a show notes section and a summary of today's session, and they will be in there on DH little PdF. So you know you'll get them. No need to, like, stress out over with all the little tip. It's and you know, gold nuggets of wisdom that Joe just shared. But let me just before we close today on breakout in celebrations because this was such an amazing session, Let me just, um, kind of repeat the three tips that Joe gave you for for your personal shift, your personal pivot, your personal readjusting the sails and going for that dream that is so big that it feels scary, right when you're sitting in the shadow waters off business as usual and life as usual and doing it all with, you know, feet firmly on the ground, just kind ofthe waves lapping at your feet but not going deeper. Eso just shared three tips. I just want to repeat them. Um, Joe, you tell me to get wrong, right? You're kind of you Let me know. So the first is a daily practise of credit oot and defining your emotion off the day almost off you. You defined for yourself. What? You want to go for what you want to feel? What when he said you are, You know, the happenings of this day. You know, in context, you said openness, gratitude. It could be anything, right? It could be just a word that empowers you. And almost like a word you put on the sail off your ship for that day right
lately. I love that idea,
eh? So that's number one. It goes. We talked about credit journal before, so it kind of goes with the daily credit. Good thing. But it could also be just a tiny exercise. You do, even if you're not into the journal thing, right? Just kind of sit down before you start your business before you open up the computer. Just have a posted, you know, kind of reflect off. What? What's on your sale for today? and put it on that post and put on the office wall or something like that, right? Could be like a tiny thing you do for yourself and kind of like back back on it if you feel like the outside world tries to control you rather than you controlling your life like you put it perfectly before. Um, so that's number one number two to kind of try to separate yourself from the outcome. That's what I got out of it that gets to say, What do I want to do or what has been done to me? Sometimes it's kind of focus under what do I want to be right? Who am I and who do I want to be? Long term? Um, yeah, definitely. So that's number two on day number three. And I love this one, and this has been such a game changer for me to monitor the self talk on DH really practise kindness and mindfulness and generosity and all the good things, not just towards the outside world, but towards yourself, right?
And that matches now has to start with ourselves. Yes, we all know that really a fundamental level. It it can feel kind of selfish or overwhelming is so much easier for us sometimes to focus on the external world in other people. But it has to start
with yourself. Love, right? And I feel like if you don't love yourself like your cup will run and two, even if you if you have the best of intentions to splurge on, you know your kids, your co workers, your whoever you want to give love to, you will. You know that's the That's when you run into burnout, right? That's when you kind of, you know, e don't know. I don't know how the wiser, but that's how you have you run empty at some point. They don't practise self love himself care. And then from that over spilling couple from We talked about this before. I'm kind of circling back because it's also beautifully connected from creating that life that makes you so insanely happy, so immensely happy from that cup running over, then spilled it. Love and kindness and mindfulness and all the good things that come with it onto the
world. Definitely, and you will do that so naturally, that's the thing when you when you work on yourself on. When you find that that trust in yourself, that love for yourself, then that's spilling out into the world will just happen without you even having to try.
I love that so much, Joe. Okay, As I said, there would be little pdf just to help help all our listeners to kind of put it into action. And let's stress out about taking notes and outside that are worth a Monday newsletter, of course. But for right now, Joe, thank you so much for reception. Amazing coffee hour. It was such a joy to talk to you. Um, I am to have you share so openly and so generously, you know, from from your life and from your Well, what is your What is your calling and your purpose, right?
Absolutely. And thank you so much. You know, I absolutely love talking to every time every opportunity we have. You know, we just that connexion that we have and that that's similar purpose, I suppose in wanting Teo share ourselves with the world and share that love is just so powerful. So it's always amazing to be able to connect with you and do things like this. So Thank you.
And that's a wrap on this coffee hour featuring mindset coach and writer Jo Naughton, who joined me for a candid chat on living on purpose. If this episode was helpful for you, please subscribe and review and share this podcast with someone who might need it. Thank you. Made the space between where you are now and where you want to be inspire you no master.