The Buddhified Business Podcast

#6: Outsmart Entrepreneur Overwhelm, ft. Jo Naughton Part 1

November 04, 2019 Season 1 Episode 6
The Buddhified Business Podcast
#6: Outsmart Entrepreneur Overwhelm, ft. Jo Naughton Part 1
Chapters
The Buddhified Business Podcast
#6: Outsmart Entrepreneur Overwhelm, ft. Jo Naughton Part 1
Nov 04, 2019 Season 1 Episode 6
Nicole König / Jo Naughton

“The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them. If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” – Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Raise your hand if there are days when your coffee tastes crappy, the cat keeps traipsing across your keyboard, or, surprise! Here's a client who decided to NOT pay your invoice.

Overwhelm has as many faces as it has triggers - and can feel like you're all by your lonesome facing yet another dragon, while virtually everyone else is out there living their best life --- complete with Instagram proof.
In reality, overwhelm is part of building a sustainable business, just like bookkeeping is: nobody gets where they're going without growing pains.

Join me and mindset coach Jo Naughton for a candid chat on how to decipher, outsmart, and overcome overwhelm.

***
Let's be podcast buddies!
If this episode was helpful for you, please subscribe and review and share this podcast with someone who might need it.

May the space between where you are now and where you want to be enlighten you.
Namaste.

Show Notes Transcript

“The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them. If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” – Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Raise your hand if there are days when your coffee tastes crappy, the cat keeps traipsing across your keyboard, or, surprise! Here's a client who decided to NOT pay your invoice.

Overwhelm has as many faces as it has triggers - and can feel like you're all by your lonesome facing yet another dragon, while virtually everyone else is out there living their best life --- complete with Instagram proof.
In reality, overwhelm is part of building a sustainable business, just like bookkeeping is: nobody gets where they're going without growing pains.

Join me and mindset coach Jo Naughton for a candid chat on how to decipher, outsmart, and overcome overwhelm.

***
Let's be podcast buddies!
If this episode was helpful for you, please subscribe and review and share this podcast with someone who might need it.

May the space between where you are now and where you want to be enlighten you.
Namaste.

spk_0:
00:24
Hello there. Welcome to the Booty Fight podcast. I'm your host. We call Chronic, and this episode focuses on deciphering, outsmarting and overcoming overwhelmed. The first thing I want you to hear is that you are not alone. In fact, you're an excellent company. I'm lucky enough to get to chat with and work with some of the most extraordinary people out there. Start up to V. I. P. And the topics of anxiety and overwhelmed in all their different forms, including procrastination and pasta syndrome and burn out do come up in almost every conversation. Secondly, please realise and celebrate that you are a Trailblazer even today following your calling, living your purpose and building an on around nourishing business is well outside of what supporting cast meaning family, colleagues and loved ones might instinctively understand and accept. Having new paths is hard work. Resistance, roadblocks and overwhelmed come with the territory. Thankfully, though, we're in this together. And I could not be happier to have my third coach, writer and wonderful human being Joe, not with me for this Joe coaches, passionate professionals and entrepreneurs like us. She empowers us to master our mind, embrace our inner confidence and get exactly what we want in life and business. So let's dive in and learn how to decipher, outsmart and overcome. Overwhelmed. So welcome to the show, Joe. It's a pleasure to have Your Honour as always and so so lovely. Um, I just introduce you, but please say hello and you know interested really quick and good morning. Yeah. Good morning,
spk_1:
02:55
Ako. It's always absolute pleasure to talk to you, You know that whether we're whether we're actually, you know, putting out there live or according, or whether it's just you and I having a really good matter and catching up on stuff I love to be able to chat to you. So it's a real pleasure to be here.
spk_0:
03:10
A new word I learned is chin wag. Have a chin wag. Yes, Switching back. Yes, I do like you know, like like I love the people. Like you have a couple of loving, ripped, like do secrets, like, you know, just lovely British ladies that have talked to him like these new words popping up. And you just told me one I can say that because we were off air. I just learned a brand new one from George's The bin man is coming. It's never been man, I believe. I just assumed
spk_1:
03:43
I just seemed to everybody, you know, referred to the bin men
spk_0:
03:47
been around the weather. Probably do. But for me it's new. So I love it. It's chin work. Was the bin man. Oh, nothing. Yeah.
spk_1:
03:56
Do you like to have a good chin wag with man?
spk_0:
03:59
Yeah, I love it. Okay, so first question of the day, that's the one. I always you know, it's always getting it started for me, every feature a heavy and you've certainly heard it before because it's kind of leftover from when the unified podcast still wass the coffee hours. But it kind of evolved from there. So the first question I always used to ask me for before that, please and gouges is How do you drink your
spk_1:
04:21
coffee? Yes, as you say, we've chatted about this before, certainly, but I am. I am the kind of typical Brit in that it's it's a cup of tea for May, more than a cup of coffee. I do like coffee both my tea and my coffee. Ah, decaf, annoyingly but But it's definitely that having a nice cup of tea. Just feels like having a real breakthrough May. Although this morning, actually, I was it a networking breakfast meeting? And so I did have a decaf latte white this morning. I think when I go out somewhere, too, like cafe or something, I'm more likely to order coffee when I'm out than a cup of tea. Because I'm quite particular about how my he is like, how much there is in it, how strong it is. Whereas with coffee, I can kind of take it any way. It comes to be honest, so I'm more likely to order that I come out somewhere.
spk_0:
05:18
That's so funny. We go them so peculiar. But how I want my coffee. Okay, so when I go when I go out there and I used to say, Let's meet for coffee because that's what you say, right? Yeah than usual. I have water or something because I hate when the coffee, you know, I like my coffee at Homer's Organic and drink it with just a dash of cinnamon. And if I have milk in it, you know usually don't because you should drink espresso. But if I do, I have like, um, like like a kind of milk foam for made from cash human up. It's like It's so, so simple and so, so good. So I don't I don't drink dairy, right? So So when I go out, it's really hard to get that anywhere. And now I know it's weird, but that's how I like it.
spk_1:
05:55
I know when you when you found something that you really like and you know you can do it well yourself. And, yeah, why? Why try and get a second rate version from somewhere else?
spk_0:
06:06
And it's often because I've talked to you like, you know, we talk about coffee and tea all the time because this is what we do. But yeah, fellow colleague of ours. Lisa Character Who? Jimmy on the show a couple weeks ago. And she has also said that they have, like this espresso coffeemaker at home, and now she likes, used to used to think It's like, you know, it's like, kind of pointless, but now she enjoys it and just has her flat Dwight just the way she like them and like original like, you know, it's like you do something particularly treat for yourself
spk_1:
06:33
absolutely. I think that's how I feel about having a cup of tea. Is it's. It's so much more about that ritual off to me. Having a cup of tea signifies having a break. Yes, having a break from something? Yes. So taking those in a few minutes to boil the kettle on DH kind of stand there and just ponder on something as I'm waiting to boil and then pouring it and then kind of sitting back down in my chair in my study and taking the first sip and then getting ready to kind of crack on is just such a lovely feeling and ritual, more so than the actual taste itself of whatever it is I'm
spk_0:
07:12
drinking, Lee ongoing series about. I'm going to share with you in the winter And it's just sort of like I think October 1st kind of sad sparks it for me. I kind of switch like during the day I switched Teo English breakfast tea with a dash of lemon. Ah, yeah, and I'm having it right now, so well, I still have my one espresso in the morning. And then during the day I'll have water and Tina, I really love it. Um I don't know. It's kind of weird, but I'm such a caffeine like junkie. And I tried to wean yourself off of it like, at least once a year. So I'm really in our heads off two year loan Decaf. Yeah,
spk_1:
07:46
well, I mean, you know, it really wasn't a kind of choice for May for health reasons, I I kind of was told I wasn't allowed to drink caffeine Well, a long time. And so I haven't now. Haven't drunk caffeine for two years that we too years Ah, next week, I think on DH that that, you know, I remember in the past before, long before then I had tried to cut down on caffeine. I'll stop drinking caffeine on. It is a really hard thing to you. Do have to wean yourself off. Yes, just getting headaches and things. I always remember when I was working a long time ago when I was working as an assistant head teacher in a school in my kind of previous career and life. I am all of us for a week in the staff room kept moaning about the fact that all of us had headaches and we were really confused by that. We all had headaches. Ah, nde. You know, thinking is there some kind of thing going around? And we all got some sort of virus. What's going on on? Then we realised that the tea the tea bags that were in the in the pot in the staff room actually were decaf tea bags. And it was because of all of us were having withdrawal from Catherine. You know that we all had these headaches. It was madness. But it really showed the power of. Of what? Caffeine, Actually, I suppose, just to us and how trying to come off it. Candida exact us. It
spk_0:
09:06
does. And it is said that Treasury must have offered at least once a year. I go all March 30 and I love it. I love the taste of it of its healthy and fresh and drink my shakes right. And like a banana, much of shake thing that I really adore. And my wife enjoys jokes. It's not less like it's still pumping up because much of this have a lot of energy, right? Yeah, he jokes every time I'm drinking my eyes, eyes twice a speaker and he makes fun of that, but I feel better for it. But the 1st 3 or four days without coffee are hard. I know if you feel sluggish and weird and not yourself. And I read that it's one of the most addictive substances out there. Yeah, right next to a couple of hard core drugs, right? I can imagine. And you ask yourself. Okay, so So that's a 50 years back. There was like cigarettes, um, advertisement everywhere, right on. But now it's like people got smarter. And today there's, like, coffee advertisement everywhere. Right. People go organic. And I'm just jumpy for organic coffee and fresh from where Andi make it such a cult. And maybe 50 years from now, people will be smart. And, you know, just this weird to be glad banker had perhaps perhaps so it's it's it's really something to think about. You know? We're here for nothing. Other topics that let's move it out. You
spk_1:
10:24
You and I could talk about just even one, you know, simple subject for so long.
spk_0:
10:30
Yeah. Okay, so my question number two and this is something I hope you know will inspire people were listening to as um, fellow entrepreneurs is the word is your morning routine look like Joe?
spk_1:
10:43
Yes. Oh, my morning routine is it's developed and changed, particularly over the last year or so for May. But generally, my morning routine now is getting up reasonably early. So my alarm goes off 6:30 a.m. On DH I I always start my morning by kind of getting myself washed and dressed and ready for the day, particularly one of things that I've that I realised Mohr in the last year. Two years when I work from home is that if I don't get myself washed and dressed first thing, then I can end up sitting in my pyjamas for for a lot of the day was working from home. If I don't have any clients on, I'm just on my laptop there. No one's going to see me, but actually, that that difference off feeling like I'm really prepared for the day and I'm ready for work is really important to me. So that's the first thing I do. I Then I always starts my day after that with my journal, so I used to basically I used to just kind of almost have, ah note card with playing paper in, and I'd write down things I was grateful for. I'd write down any can do a bit of a brain dump of anything that was in my mind. I'd write what my intentions were for the day, actually, of recently. Over the last probably months, nearly two months have started using a particular planner that I bought. So it's Brendan Burke charge, who is, Ah, high performance coach. And so it's his high performance planet, which actually incorporates most of the different practises and things that I was doing naturally are Inc that so. I quite like that. And so I start my day with that which also has an element of me, then setting out my key priorities for the day on DH. Any actions that I need to take that day. I then jumped straight over to my laptop with a trail aboard, and I add all of those actions onto my to do list for the day. So I know I'm doing, and then I I spend the time then sitting for while six minutes. Actually, because I've created I've created my own meditation, basically using my own voice where I have recorded myself basically repeating my values, repeating really empowering beliefs that I have created through my own personal growth journey over the last couple of years on DH on repeating them in a way that just really kind of lights me up on DH. So I listened to that recording kind of sat with my eyes closed and just breathing deeply. Ondas. Soon as I open my eyes, when that recording finishes after six minutes, I just feel absolutely ready to go. So
spk_0:
13:35
I kind of get
spk_1:
13:36
cracking on that list. Yeah,
spk_0:
13:38
and that's so interesting. How? Because he said in the last month or so. And remember, e thing was June. We have that meeting. Was the coffee our back then about credited journal in? Yes, and they asked on your old routine, and I love how that I think it's It's a really great point we can make in terms of value to say as you grow as you progress on your path, right, you should always to you and throw you your routines, whatever feels good. And like you said you mentioned a couple of times, I love how you mentioned that that you do that. And as soon as you do that, you feel enlightenment, you know, sparked up and ready to go for the day and, yeah, really helps you get into yourself. You know, step into your day on DH. That's what it's all about, right? It's not about following any routine that just because someone told you it's a red routine about making it work for yourself, treating yourself well,
spk_1:
14:26
definitely. And I think the important thing there is that, you know, in the work I do as a mindset coach, I completely understand about how habits and patterns are really, really important to us. So getting ourselves into really positive empowering habits is an amazing thing to do, particularly to look at any disempowering habits we have and trying to reframe them into something more positive. But what I also know about the mind is that we we strive for a need continued growth on DH change in order to really feel good about ourselves. If we kind of stagnating something that just feels like we're doing the same thing over and over again, even if it's something that we once loved that kind of energy. If we don't feel like we're growing in it and there's some vibrancy in it. To some degree, that energy can really, really Wayne on DSO. I suppose for me that the habit that I've developed is the habit off sitting down in the morning on DH, making sure that I, in some way express my gratitude on my intentions and I know only think it and say it. But I write it down on DH then in some way to organise my day so I know what's coming up and then in some way to meditate or to take a moment to really kind of ground and sent to myself. But the actual practise off exactly how I journal how I meditate. How I organise things is really open to development and growing. Based on how I'm feeling or different ideas that people suggest on trying new things out on DH, I think it's really important to be able to understand which parts of the habit need to stay the same in order for the habit to continue on which parts actually can be moved around and changed in some way, so that it keeps lighting us up and keeps energising us
spk_0:
16:29
I love that keeps leading us up. I think that's just such a key. And really, really, really just important point to make that you really, you know, don't just follow something and tell it. Okay, so this is kind of working for me. Yeah, but actually make it moulded and make it your own and, you know, make it work for you, whatever that means. And I love you like the one you mentioned that you actually recorded your own voice and work with those affirmations. That something that looks like some like, kind of out of the, you know, like out of the box in terms of platitude. And I never heard that before. Yeah, I love that. That's such a such a quote and put new thing that maybe it's inspiring others to find their really their own way to whatever it isthe right from us. Walking in the woods and let just consciously, being in the moment some things. I have music in my ears. Sometimes parties. Usually I don't have anything on my ears. Just whenever I catch myself drifting off and going into those loops that don't get me anywhere like the like the start carousel that are like the what ifs and, yeah, living in the past and kind of re mouldings up. So when I rat catchers have doing that, I really make it a point of focus on the sky and just, you know, looking the clouds and just enjoy the beauty off all that surrounds me. And that helps me whenever, like, visuals, like half an hour, 45 minutes have the dog with me and whenever and back at the car, I just, you know, open up the car, loading the dog on. And I consciously think, Okay, that's been so good. And, you know, I'm, like, so refreshed and ready to start the day and ready to go on and know where my pro dislike. Um, so that's that's what works for me. Yeah, You just have an offline part of the day before anything else happens.
spk_1:
18:04
Yeah, on that. So, you know, it sounds like you have really developed that habit off off getting out there being outside. The lovely thing about that is that actually being in nature itself is the nature provides the change, the growing vibrancy because it is forever changing. And so every time you do that, you'll be seeing different things. You'll be experiencing different seasons. Go by, different if weather, you know, seeing different animals or trees or plants or flowers. Um, on DH, that in itself is the beauty ofthe you've got this habit, but within the habit itself, there is growth and change, and that's that's really important. And
spk_0:
18:48
it does a lot of two coming down writer, too. Like, Yeah, it's a smart smile. Smile more party in a huge picture and it's made it. It's like, gives you perspective on a lot of things that, like outside drama, that influences right. It makes you, you know, going to our topic today basically right makes you overwhelmed and feeling really anxious. So that part, being offline in a lot of ways, works to save on perspective down early. And did you know that one? I love this. This year's This is just a brand information meeting that then one I'm trees, talk to each other and even share resource is with each other. Yes, and when you're in the woods, I have, like all these, all that stuff is like moving, running the air from trees, communicate with it and actually heals us. And yes, some time there and breathe it in and, you know, just walked beneath trees basically is good for our soul, for everything.
spk_1:
19:40
Oh, it definitely is. And I think people have felt that for thousands of years, Haven't they felt that power of just being around trees and the energy that they feel when when they're around them on particular trees, as we just said, changing in the different seasons and the beauty is there. But yeah, In fact, me and a friend were literally talking about that very thing the other day about how trees talk to each other and the the energy that they put out there and how powerful it is for us to be in that energy fields.
spk_0:
20:13
Yes, it's so like it's like we live in a beautiful world. It's so, so wonderful. It's like full of handles, like literally okay, but not like not to get too far off track here. Question over three. Before you know, we talk about all the things that that circle entrepreneur Wenchuan M Sorry, Terminate, overwhelm and and anxiety the question of the three to kind of get us. That's how do you practise mindfulness in your day today?
spk_1:
20:37
Yeah, I think it's lots of little things, obviously, just talking about my morning routine. A lot of that is about the mindfulness and on the self care. But I also have just a number of practises that I've got myself into key Just checking in with myself throughout the day. So one of the things that I do when I do my planner in the morning when I do my journaling is that it asks me to come up with almost kind of a word for the day that represents how I want to feel or show up that day or the kind of overriding thing that that I want to focus on. So, for example, the one that's on my that I've put this morning is trust. So it just came to me. This kind of I want today to just continue this feeling of trust, trust in myself, trusting other people, trust in the universe on DH. So I always write that on a post it note of whatever the word is and stick it right kind of in front of May, so that I can constantly keep looking at it on the way. I make sure that I keep looking at it and feel really mindful of that is every single time I either stand up out of a chair or sit down in a chair. I always do three deep breaths on DH, particularly if that chair is in my study, where I work that I do three deep breaths whilst looking at that. Post it note with the word on that I want to really kind of feel and embody that day. Andi, you know that lots of people have have little rituals like that to keep checking in. For example, some people might do it every time they walk through a doorway. They might have some moment of just checking in, or every time they wash their hands, they might wash their hands mindfully and actually feel the experience of of rubbing the soap on their on their fingers and feeling the water on their hands. I that that, for me, is it is a really great way of reminding myself to cheque in with myself and to really feel mindful in what I'm doing. I
spk_0:
22:43
love that I love that, you know, there's little that's that's something new for me, too. And I think that's something I could like. It doesn't cost you more time, right?
spk_1:
22:51
Absolutely. It's already something you're doing.
spk_0:
22:53
Yes. So if you feel like, okay. So every time I open the door, every time I know sit down and get up from a chair. I just take three deep rest and come back to myself and just get really mindful of the moment. I don't know my needs, my my feelings, my thoughts. What can I do for myself today? How can I practise after all those things? And it doesn't cost you any time Because one of the things I know on my journey into more mindfulness in my life was okay. I don't have time for that. Come on. A radiant, You know already. Like like, I feel so thin, like, you know, like, Pope again, all over the place. I don't have I don't feel like I have, like any any, like, energy left to get another ball in the air. So this thing, like mindfulness greatest, it sounds hippy and really cool, but I have time for that, right? So So I think that's really, really cool to be really great. Let's, you know, get your foot in the door. But
spk_1:
23:49
definitely if you know if if you're not someone who has, you know, yet tried the things like the journaling or having some sort of meditation practise some of those things can can feel in themselves really overwhelming because you can think Hang on, what is this thing that everyone seems to be doing that I'm all the doing a ll the cool kids are doing and I must be missing out Yeah, sure, Yeah. I can't seem to find time in my day for I can't seem tto gett myself motivated to do it. If I do it once, I can't seem to keep on track with it on DH. And I think a lot of that is the fact that we we feel like it is this additional thing toe add to our list off jobs on. Of course, as soon as we feel like anything's an additional thing to add to a list of jobs, our mind immediately kind of goes. So I really want to, then yes, it is. It's something. It's important to us on DH. So the more that we confined little daily practises that we can do whilst we're already doing something else. As I said, just making my cup of tea, turning the kettle on and having that what minute, minute and 1/2 is the kettle's boiling To just stand and allow myself to just ponder on something is, is a really powerful practise to get into, because I think there's a lot of time that we waste by by doing things that actually aren't really serving us, that whenever we can find things that truly can serve us like breathing deeply or taking a moment to really think about what our intention is for that day, we need Teo Teo. Use those opportunities? Absolutely. Oh
spk_0:
25:29
my gosh, I think that's just a great point. You just made that. You know it's not not about adding something more to the schedule it. And as you had something more as you plan on doing, even if you if you're if you've got all the, you know, determination the world to do it, basically, that's what you know. Low yoga felt like for me. I wanted to do it and it was good for me, but I never like I went there a couple of times and I never met made the time to do it. I found all these excuses. I had plenty to do at home, right? So I found all the That's. I think that's the point. You find excuses. If you have a part of your day or it's not an additional task, you could just grow into this new habit of being more mindful without feeling like you're stretching yourself even thinner than you already are. Definitely, definitely. And that's I think that's just a just a wonderful introduction to our topic today, which is on to overwhelm and the first thing I'd like to talk about. Or I'd like to, you know, just put out there. I'm as a message, and I love I would love your take on the job. Is that for a long, long time, the worst part of it for me was to feel like, OK, here I am. I love my business and everything about it. Um, I've really built this fucking place off love. It's a labour of love. Still, there are times when I eat when I'm here in my office, right all by my lonesome. Yeah, And I feel like like you just said all the cool kids are doing all these amazing things on Instagram Andre, also mindful were also into yoga and also into meditation. And you know, I love the world we live in. And still, despite being such a reflective Poland for person and still I feel anxious and overwhelmed and stressed out and just you know Yeah, you know what I mean. So yes. Oh, for someone who feels like that, what would your message be?
spk_1:
27:18
I think firstly, as you probably know it, you're not alone. It is completely natural on its natural. You know, specifically today we're talking about it in reference to entrepreneurs because I think that does bring an additional element to it. But for anybody out there, there are times where we feel overwhelmed in our lives. You know, work. Look on, DH. So it is something that you only have to reach out on DH. Express that to someone to realise that you're not alone in it. And sometimes just feeling alone in something can can add to that pressure and that golden absolutely so firstly, just understanding and recognising that and then to really try and work out what the the the core off that overwhelmed really is about because the issue, obviously with feeling overwhelmed on DH, almost feeling like we've got too many things going on in our mind all at once is that it makes us generalise. The mind is really, really good at just trying to make sweeping statements and generalise about things. And so we can very quickly just say I am overwhelmed. I am stressed. I am, you know, suffering from anxiety. I weaken. We can put very big labels on something when actually, it might just be. And it's likely to just be one tiny thing that is the real block of their one tiny thing that is feeding into the bigger picture, feeling like you're overwhelmed. And so I suppose the first thing I'd kind of say to do is just to just to take that time, to sit or go to the place where you feel really good. You know, for example, for you, Nicole, maybe out in nature Ah, on DH, take that moment to just really breathe. Breathing is so important because when we feel overwhelmed when we feel fear when we feel resistance when anything like that shows up in our bodies. We stop breathing properly on when we stop breathing properly. Were basically telling our unconscious mind that there is a problem. We are telling our unconscious mind There's a massive problem and you need to protect me now on often it will protect to you by almost trying to shut things down. And suddenly we feel like we can't even think straight. So breathing deeply breathing properly just shows your unconscious mind that it's OK. I am safe. It is okay, I am safe. And even just repeating that statement, it's okay. I am safe. It's okay. I am safe just toe to try and release some of the heightened emotion behind the overwhelmed. And when you then felt you've released some of the heightened emotion to just see if you can put the question out there, what is it at its core? What? What really is the problem for Mae? What really is that thing that's causing me to feel stuck and asked that question not so that you then immediately feel a pressure to answer it, but just asked that question into the universe. Ask that out loud. Asked for the university sh to show you to help you, Teo, to find that that one element rather than allowing you to generalise what you're going through on, then start to catastrophe eyes. Because when we generalise particular, if we generalise about anything negative when they were going to start to catastrophe eyes and of course, that's never going to help with this overwhelming feeling.
spk_0:
31:11
And then you just mentioned that you know any kind off trigger I'm gonna call it kind of has us breathing. Stop breathing suddenly properly, I mean immediately jumped to fight or flight. Yes, it puts us into that. You know, of course. Is that it? Is that that's what happened?
spk_1:
31:30
Yeah. Yeah, that's basically exactly the same sort of process on DH. So that is our our our mind and bodies Job is to is to protect us basically particularly our unconscious mind and our body kind of works in our unconscious mind as well. Its job is to protect us at all costs on DSO. That's what for if the fight or flight or freeze mechanism comes from because it it overrides everything. So that is when our unconscious in our body kind of overrides our conscious mind on DH. Suddenly we feel like things are just happening on autopilot, so we are unable to control to consciously control the present moment of what's going on. Because our bodies are either completely frozen, are causing us to fight back in some way. And you know, people often say they in moments of extreme either extreme anxiety or something kind of a massive event happening. They feel like they have the strength of, you know, 10 times what they usually would. They really feel like they are not consciously in control of what they usually do, but then also it causes us often to run on Teo and to flee from from whatever it is that's happening without us consciously being able to choose whether we do that or not. And so really are. Our job, if we want to try and overcome some of these things, is to is to stay as much as we can in our conscious mind and in the present moment, rather than allowing something else to kind of take over us on DH, try and get us to look at the past and try and get us to look too much of the future. We need to try and teach our unconscious mind in our body that actually I am safe. I am safe because often that that an anxious feeling that almost extreme of the fight, flight or freeze feeling can come at times where it's completely not called for sometimes absolutely. You know, a lion comes out and tries to eat us. I mean, not that that happens much where I live, but a lion comes out and tries to eat us. Of course, we want that mechanism to kick into place. How is, Ah, someone who I'm trying, Tio, you know, get as a new client says, No, this isn't for May. Actually, that is no a moment where it is beautiful. The lead toa go into absolute. You know, my unconscious mind taking over That is not one of those moments. And yet for a lot of us, that mechanism can kick in with things that really it shouldn't kick in with. And so it's our job to teach our mind and body that actually, it's okay. I'm safe. I'm not gonna catastrophe eyes. I'm not going to start telling myself storeys about how this one person say no to May is you know, me going back to the fact that I was abandoned when I was a child or this happened. It's I'm also not going to feud, going to think about it in terms of well, that must mean in the future that this is what's always gonna happen and that lead to this. And that's nearly two that we need to really cheque him with the storeys that that overwhelmed feeling can bring to us on. We need to start tow, actually say to ourselves in a conscious way through breathing deeply. We need to say, Is this Storey true? And and actually, what else could be true here so that we can actually get ourselves back into the present moment and then think about moving forwards purposefully from that present moment?
spk_0:
35:30
You know, Listen to you, Joe. I feel like it comes back to, um Well, we talked about before, which is our brains is such a powerful tool. But it's so powerful that sometimes it starts controlling us instead of us controlling. Oh,
spk_1:
35:42
absolutely. And I think with with with so many people, you know, probably I would I would go as far to say I don't like to generalise, but I would go so far to say most people most human beings are are acting currently from a place off their mind, kind of taking over them more than them being in control of their own mind.
spk_0:
36:08
Every love that you made that point and really love that. Okay, so we talked. Talked about, like, first steps to kind off. Take that, You know that when that when that moment happens. Yeah, And were you mentioned breathing and telling yourself very consciously, it's okay. I am safe. Yeah. Um, I want to go a bit deeper into what overwhelmed can look like for different people. Because I know it has so many faces and learned that, and we feel crazy or alone, right? Or singled out, Or sometimes something so wrong with me, Right? So you're a specialist. I would love for you to to just explain what all one can look like and that you know how it how would how? It's all one for set off. Normal. Yeah. Being Jack being You know what I mean?
spk_1:
37:01
Yeah, definitely. I mean, you know, as you say It definitely has a lot of different faces on DH. You know, we're using the term overwhelm. You could use a number of different terms to talk about what we're referring to. But it all comes down to the same thing, really. All comes down to that feeling inside us that we just don't feel quite right. We just don't feel quite. I don't know, aligned Toa who we want to be, says there's some something going on inside us that isn't how we would we would choose it for ourselves if we have the power to choose it for ourselves on DSO, I think a lot of the different ways that this overwhelmed can show up. I mean, obviously, can. It can actually go down a route off kind of clinically, you know it, Khun, Khun Feed into it can create. It could be a result ofthe serious mental health issues, you know, it can be, ah, you know, a serious anxiety disorder or depression on different things like that which which had so prevalent in our society at the moment, unfortunately, but it also is about just small parts of that. It is about things like the procrastination that people you know constantly. The people I talked to often talk about procrastination being something that they really struggle with the tickly entrepreneurs. When we know that there is work to be done, we know that it's something that kind of needs to get done and we should be doing in our business. It's important to us, but we can't seem to take those steps to get there on. Often that is due to some sort of overwhelmed that's happening, and often that procrastination itself is due to the self doubts that we have. You know, those feelings of who am I to do this on DH? That impostor syndrome that lots of us suffer from of looking everybody else in comparing ourselves to them and saying, Well, you know, I I couldn't possibly be like that person or achieve their success or, you know, or know or have the wonderful life that they have, because this is just May and we feel like an impostor Son dropped sometimes living in our own lives on DH, that Khun then that can lead us to a lack of productivity. In what we do. We can feel like we're kind of lurching from one thing to the the next, but not really ever getting anything important done on DH and also often that kind of overwhelmed can feel like we just don't have a clear purpose and vision for where we're going on. Of course, if we don't have a clear purpose and vision, then those steps along the way you're going to be really damn hard because we don't know where we're trying to head on DH. And so we we really don't know which path to take. So all of those things kind of rolling into one can feed into and show up as as this overwhelmed. But I think the key, the key thing for May, where we can see it'll show up is the self talk that happens in our own minds. So you know a lot less than less so than what we say out loud to other people. But what we say to ourselves in our minds, is often the route cause and root reason for the overwhelmed that we feel. It's also, amazingly, the place that if we look at, if we look at our own self talk, we can also use self talk in a massively empowering way to help to reduce that overwhelm on DH start to move forwards.
spk_0:
40:59
So the way we speak to ourselves inside ahead Yeah, absolutely. Basically, you know, sets the scene for everything else is what I got from you know Yes. Listening to you That's what I like When you start the generation the way you know the storey you tell the way you tell the storey to yourself your head and one thing I you know, we checked a lot So some things you say that perfectly located just kind of sinking And I carry them with me one of them being to ask yourself what else could be true on DH? That's like a typical like That's something I heard from you I learned from U S O. When we control that that storey that narrative then we that's like the 1st 1 step towards controlling the other. Well,
spk_1:
41:48
yes, Yeah, absolutely. And that, you know, that really is probably the key question for me that I that I use myself in so many different contexts and used with my clients or even with kind of friends and loved ones and people I may is that question of what else could be true because ultimately, what's going on in our minds as much as it feels like it is absolute fact, I do not have enough time. I am so busy. I am so stressed. This is really difficult. That person doesn't like. May all of those things we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves as if they are fact. We tell ourselves those things as if they are absolute fundamental truth and fact. But at today, whether they are truth on fact or not, it doesn't necessarily matter. I mean, I would argue that there really not truthful fact. They are simply we proceed, have taken on exactly there how we perceive it, that there are kind of view of the world how we perceive it. But whether their fact or not, the question I always like to ask myself is, Well, how is that thought? That belief, that self talk serving Mai and actually, if it's not serving May, then what else could be true? Could I tell myself something else that could be true that could serve me better? I mean, ultimately, a lot of the stuff we tell ourselves is about the external world. It's nothing to do with our own internal. Yes, it's about the external world, the external world. We are never really going to understand the external world. Yes, we're never going to be able to fully understand it and engage with it on a really, really truthful level, because because we're all going to see it differently. We all have different lenses on on the world, a different maps of reality. And so technically, we have the ability to write the Storey that we want to write based on what's going on in the external world on a lot of the external world that we that we interact with our other people and we tell ourselves storeys about what these other people think field know what they're thinking about us and saying about us and what that means on DH. And ultimately we are never going to know what someone else is thinking and feeling. Never, even if we asked them, they're going to give us an answer. That is a long thing. Yeah, it's a version off it, and also we are never were then going tto be viewing their version ofthe it through our own perception and therefore it's going to be filtered, you know, it's like the eyes, the cannibal Isn't that kind of Chinese whispers kind of idea. It's never gonna actually get back to us being exactly what it started with on dso by accepting that by realising that that is the case. Suddenly we have this massive power cause we now realise that well, if we're never going toe act absolutely know that fundamental truth, then what really is fundamental truth? Can I actually make up my own truth here? Can I say to myself, what else could be true? And can I decide that that truth is something that really empowers May because if it empowers May, it's gonna empower the people around, made the energy I then bring is going to empower inspire people around May, and that's gonna feed out into the energy in the universe. Andi, you know what is more powerful than being able to do that? What is more uplifting than being able to do that?
spk_0:
45:23
So, listening to you three things kind of circle in my in my head right now, so so one is that we'll never be able to control anything that happens outside off ourselves. Basically, Yeah, but we can't control how it how it you know what kind off on power we give it over our life, right over the things we are the goals, the path, Yes, our our happiness. Basically, our our you know, I want to live my most meaningful life. Yeah, Memos for life and the power I I hand over to anything that happens outside of that I control right number two. And that's something I'm like growing ever more conscious about us that we can change. We have the power to change the storey that happens inside our head and we absolutely do, instead of treating it like like, almost like like that thing we can control that kind ofthe narrate our life, right? So it's kind of like a like an off voice that kind of narrates the storey that's happening here. Yeah, and we treated like we can't control it because it's like it's kind of narrating ready. We're just in the storey and there's a voice that's nearly the whole thing, but but it's not like that, right? We can change it because you write the script. Even if it's if it's unconscious that we do
spk_1:
46:44
that, Yeah. I mean, I felt for most of my life, you know, if I'm really honest here for most of my life, I really didn't understand that even though I had bean for a very long time. I was a teacher, was working education. I was even working as a consultant, a coach and a mentor for a long time with an education. Before I really started my own personal growth journey my really kind of serious personal growth journey and started really understanding these things on. I have to say, for most of my life, I have lived it thinking that these voices in my head, this narrative in my head wasn't mine to control. It wasn't coming from May. It felt like it was, you know, night. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of like being downloaded from somewhere. I don't know. I had to take it seriously. I had to take it seriously. I had to go with it. I had to live with it. And that caused a hell of a lot of pain in my life. You know, I went through, I hear you. I went through years of depression. In my younger life, I went through years of anxiety. I had, you know, events that happened in my life that then caused posttraumatic stress. And I I felt like I had to live with those thoughts for so long. You know, I seriously didn't see the power that was in my own hands. Yes, that I could change that. And I also I suppose what I didn't realise is that it wass that it wasthe e in a talk that self talk that was going on, it was that that was creating my world. Yes. I really didn't see that power. If I If I have realised that, I mean, you know, I kind of realised that a young age that all I needed to do was to understand that if I could get myself talk to be empowering, then suddenly my hole in the world and therefore my view of the outer world would completely change. I mean, gosh, that would have just been a completely different life. I mean, you know, I'm not someone who regrets anything. I wouldn't want to kind of go back now because I think it's been even more powerful to me. to do it in the way that I have. But it's certainly something that if I can kind of share that with with the world as it's being shared by so many amazing, you know, coaches and speakers and spiritual leaders, Um, if I can keep sharing that with the world, then then hopefully they'll even just be one person who's listened to me talking about it. Who's gone? Okay, maybe I could do something about this on then. Maybe they don't have to suffer through that. The anxiety and the depression and the the rial, crippling self esteem and self doubt that that I know I had to suffer through before I I realised that I was in control of it, that I was in control of this self talk. And I'm not saying that that's easy. It is a process. It is a journey on. It takes some work
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