The Buddhified Business Podcast

#5: Mindful Decision-Making, ft. Keltie Maguire

October 28, 2019 Nicole König Season 1 Episode 5
The Buddhified Business Podcast
#5: Mindful Decision-Making, ft. Keltie Maguire
Chapters
The Buddhified Business Podcast
#5: Mindful Decision-Making, ft. Keltie Maguire
Oct 28, 2019 Season 1 Episode 5
Nicole König

Raise your hand if you agree:
Building a business can sometimes feel like you're the sole contestant in a neverending episode of "Who wants to be a Millionaire?".

You're sitting on the most uncomfortable chair in the history of the world, trying to use your water glass as a lifeline, contemplating all the places a human being can produce sweat, all while facing choice after choice:

  • How do you grow your gift into an all-around nourishing business without losing yourself?
  • How do you reach the people who need exactly what you have to give - without using Mister McSleezeball's "Best of Marketing Tactics"?
  • Do I or don't I invest in a coach, a course, a copywriter?

Well, here's your phone joker:
With me today is Keltie Maguire, clarity coach extraordinaire, with a purpose to help muddled and confused business owners get clarity and take action.
Tune in when I grill her on all things mindful choices and decision making.

As a bonus, Keltie created a PDF guide with her favorite questions to uncover self-knowledge: Access it via buddhified.com/keltie.

Let's be podcast buddies!
If this episode was helpful for you, please subscribe and review and share this podcast with someone who might need it.

May the space between where you are now and where you want to be enlighten you.
Namaste.

Show Notes Transcript

Raise your hand if you agree:
Building a business can sometimes feel like you're the sole contestant in a neverending episode of "Who wants to be a Millionaire?".

You're sitting on the most uncomfortable chair in the history of the world, trying to use your water glass as a lifeline, contemplating all the places a human being can produce sweat, all while facing choice after choice:

  • How do you grow your gift into an all-around nourishing business without losing yourself?
  • How do you reach the people who need exactly what you have to give - without using Mister McSleezeball's "Best of Marketing Tactics"?
  • Do I or don't I invest in a coach, a course, a copywriter?

Well, here's your phone joker:
With me today is Keltie Maguire, clarity coach extraordinaire, with a purpose to help muddled and confused business owners get clarity and take action.
Tune in when I grill her on all things mindful choices and decision making.

As a bonus, Keltie created a PDF guide with her favorite questions to uncover self-knowledge: Access it via buddhified.com/keltie.

Let's be podcast buddies!
If this episode was helpful for you, please subscribe and review and share this podcast with someone who might need it.

May the space between where you are now and where you want to be enlighten you.
Namaste.

spk_0:   0:17
huh? Hello, there and Nama. Stay. Welcome to the Booty Fed podcast. I'm your host, Nicole Clinic, and I'm thrilled you're making time to June in this is where? Cool, yes, and I dive deep into mindfulness and mindset and talk about the madness of building an odd, around nourishing life business. Today's topic is mindful decision making. In a little hint. Here it all starts with a healthy dose of self knowledge. I'm over the moon to have an expert with me for this one. Her name is Kelly Maguire, and she's a clarity coach who helps modeling confused business owners, get clarity and take action in both business and life. Character goes over 15 years of experience, working with companies of all shapes and sizes, plus, of course, her own firsthand knowledge of the ends and hours of running a business first as a jewelry designer and now as a coach. Her natural intuitiveness, curiosity and back home in psychology have helped to develop a unique ability to help others cut through confusion and find direction. So let's dive in and talk about mindful decision making. So welcome to the show Kelty. I'm so, so, so happy to have you here, which are where we started the recording. Um, so just, you know, welcome to the show. Welcome to the body. Five podcast. And as you know, because I told you before, we start off with three questions that I asked everybody.

spk_1:   2:16
Hi, I'm ready. Eso

spk_0:   2:19
question number one. How if you do, do you drink your coffee?

spk_1:   2:25
Oh, my go to is definitely a lot with goat milk.

spk_0:   2:30
That sounds really great. Yes, it's delicious. So I take it you're like, you're mindful about your intake off dairy.

spk_1:   2:37
Yeah, You know what? I d'oh consume a bit of dairy, but I've actually cut back a lot in the last year. And I mean, it's for various reasons. I do eat predominantly plant based, but with the milk specifically, I just noticed I was feeling a bit off after drinking milk and, you know, having my my lot in the morning. Yeah, and so I switched to open our connection. Really, really enjoy that.

spk_0:   2:59
Same here. So he good for you. Thank you. Question some questionable to What does your morning routine look like?

spk_1:   3:08
So, good question. It's quite lengthy and involved. It's ah, I feel like my morning routine is growing all the time. Oh, yeah, s Oh, my very first thing that I do is I take the dog out. That's that's my job in the household. So I take the dog out for her morning walk, and then I like to get on my yoga mat. Then I usually do about sort of 10 15 minutes of morning stretches in yoga, and then I do a brief meditation, and then we sit down with my cup of tea. Oh, milk latte And I do a little bit of journaling and gold setting and those types of things. So

spk_0:   3:46
that's all before you before you ever go to the office and, you know, go online, check social.

spk_1:   3:51
Yes, yeah, And so, actually, it's a good I'm glad you brought that up, because I can't say it's a habit that I fully instill, but I really have been working not to have my phone on and not to be on social media or email until I do the other things. The dog walk leaves the body, get my mind centered because I find it's just way too easy to totally go down the rabbit hole and maybe you know, you feel your adrenaline go up, you feel yourself start to worry about the day ahead. Or at least that's what I d'oh. Um, and the other thing is, it's very time consuming. All of a sudden, 30 minutes has gone by, and it's like it's not a very intentional way of starting the day. So, like I say, it's it's still it's still in practice. I I'm you know, it's an ever evolving journey trying to get more mindful about these things. But I do try and wait to turn the phone on until I've done my morning

spk_0:   4:39
routine. I love you said that about, you know, that saying an intention in the morning. So how do you practice, man from this in your day today?

spk_1:   4:49
Yeah. Oh, gosh. I mean, I would say I generally always been quite self aware. So even when I feel like I'm in bad habits, for example, like I said, you know, if I've turned the phone on and all of a sudden I'm down the rabbit hole there is that part of me that is thinking okay, this is not gonna be the best thing for me. This is not the most productive. This is not setting my day off on the right tone. So, you know, I think the first thing with being mindful is just being aware of her actions are thoughts. No, the way be behave. Um, certainly I do with my morning meditation, actually try and set an intention for my day. So whether it's to say today I will be focused or my intention today was have a wonderful conversation with Nicole with podcast. Um, yeah, and I and I need it ranges. It's really about asking myself on a continual basis, how I'm treating others know how am I living my life? Am I just bogged down or am I keeping my eye my eye on the price of the state of my being mindful about where it is that I'm headed in, the kind of person I want

spk_0:   5:53
to be? Oh, that sounds so good. Like everyone like, you know, press pause. Really,

spk_1:   5:59
I need to listen to this again myself. You know, e units, we all find yourself slipping into bad habits. We all find ourselves behaving in certain ways that maybe aren't aligned with, like, our higher self or doing things that we know aren't the best for us, whether it's like, you know, getting a big bag of chips or, um, you know, treating our partner not this nicely seed like, but I do think it continuously reminding ourselves and coming back. Thio, Am I being mindful with my words, my actions, my thoughts?

spk_0:   6:30
Yes. And do you Is there something came across recently? They just wanna ask you if you have, like, the same feeling, because its ranks so true with me. Um, I heard someone say that all your life, all you do is growing up. So you never like grown up. You're always ringing, right? Yup. And we're just when you mention your morning routine and how it kind of how it evolves, Of course, you know, alongside your own needs and what you learn all those things. It's the same for me. And that ranks so true. If we could add a few grown up, I'm 38. Yeah. I don't like grown up, right. I'm always looking for someone more grown up. You know, when When problems come up. So,

spk_1:   7:05
yeah, it definitely rings true. And it's funny because I think one of the things we realize when we become quote unquote grownups. As we realized, none of us have it fully figured out that we are all ever evolving and that if we're not growing, were stagnant. It's like I believe that's why we're here on this Earth is to be able to grow, to be able to fully explore a potential to be able to, you know, slow relationships with others to be our best Selves. And so, yeah, without growth, we're really we're really stagnant. And I do think again, like so often when we're Children or teenagers, we think, Oh, you know, when I'm 31 41 of 50 I'll have it figured out. And then you realize, No, none of us have seen the way you were fully awakened. And obviously, you know, honestly, our time on this earth is probably like, Okay, that's it. You don't need to be here anymore.

spk_0:   7:55
Oh, that's such a You know, I just wear what I would like five minutes and I'm already, like, mind blown. Uh, okay, so that's a little bit deeper. Can you tell us more about your background and how you became a clarity coach?

spk_1:   8:12
Yes. Of course. Oh, gosh. My background, like many peoples, is, you know, colorful change. I really feel like I'm 70 who embraces change. So ah, lot of people, they're fearful about what change means for them. And of course, there can be daunting aspects of it. But I've always welcome ah, lot of, um, yeah, change in my life. So I mean, over the last 15 plus years, my my story is I started off after doing a degree in psychology. I wasn't sales for about 15 years, beating the sales. I worked in tech. I worked in media. I worked in recruitment, but I've always been creative, so growing up, you know, I was a singer. I had artistic pursuits. I was always kind of entrepreneurial in the fact that even when I was young, I used to like, put on these sales and events for friends and family. I did a jewelry craft show when I was like, 13 years old at their summer vacation place, and I used to do a popcorn stand at the end of my driveway because it seemed a bit more innovative than selling lemonade. Um, and so partly through, You know, this period of being and beauty sales and working for other companies. I ended up starting my own jewelry business, and I designed and sold jewelry both online and on a wholesale basis through retailers and so forth and really enjoy that for a long time and ended up becoming full time with the jewelry left. My left my sales job and, gosh, I mean it. Have we put all the pieces together? So about a year and 1/2 ago and moved from Vancouver, Canada, to Munich, Germany, and that change that pivot really made me realize that the jewelry business was no longer that suited to the type of life that I envisioned for myself and where it was that I was heading, and something that I very much enjoyed was no longer bringing me a lot of fulfillment on dhe. So it's really hard when you realize that something you've set your sights on some sights on and specifically when it's your own business, something you've worked so hard to port so much energy and blood and sweat and tears and money and time into to realize that's not the thing you want. Neo. It's really hard, you know what it is, it's actually, it's quite heartbreaking. Like I would say, Um, there was a lot of grief around that Joyce, which ultimately the choice Woz, I would close my business. And then, of course, the question was, What the hell do I do next? What am I good at? What I wanted Thio what I called to d'oh and throw this process of closing the business. You know, I really looked at what do I want my life to look like? What's important to me? What am I good at? I asked myself a whole bunch of hard questions. And how do I want to be working with people? How do I want to contribute? And what came out of this process is I realized I wanted to be working with people one on one and more of a service based pasties or not selling a physical product. And I wanted to work with business owners, and what I came to realize is that so many of us we come to this point in our business in our lives, where we just deal entirely stuck, overwhelmed, confused, and we can't really see clearly what it is we want for ourselves what our next step is. And then once we have this clarity around what it is we want to do, oftentimes we don't know howto action it. So, you know, talking to people, it's like other people would say to me, Oh, gosh, she's moved overseas. That's really great. I would love to do that, but I have no idea where to begin or you're a business owner. I've always had this idea for this business, but I don't really know where to start. So I sort of had this Ah ha moment where I realized we all ultimately want to you get or achieve clarity and direction in our lives and businesses and professions, and then we need to take action. So, um, clarity coaching was born from that. I just thought, you know, I'm gonna be a clarity coach. I looked at the abilities that I had the experience that I had, and I had this strong sort of intuition that I would be able to help people in this way. Andi, I try that on for size with some sort of test clients, and the business was born from there. That's my five minutes feel on how this very in spending. It's really the abridged version. But the in between was, like, really messy. Lots of crying. Look, that's the soul searching. I

spk_0:   12:34
don't know what I love about it so much, you know, apart from you being so cagey and open with it, which I really appreciate it. Thank you for that. Is that, um it just connects so beautifully every time I talked to a fellow female female entrepreneur that I really admire, Right, Um, everyone has had these, um, I called the most like, you know, and that kind of build your path. It's not that Slap stones, and you just walk from one to the next. Now they got things as different colors, different, different everything. And a lot of pivoting happens, you know, not off, as you put it so beautifully. When you said you asked yourself some pretty hard questions, there was Harding involved. There was there was grieving and walls right now, and you're not the only one that makes me feel good to to listen to that. And again, thank you for being so open because it makes me realize I'm not the outback out right now. and I've heard a couple of times, times from others. And now listening to you and you're so passionate about, we haven't even gotten to the to the gist of it. But there it is you're so passionate about and you know all your heart is in it and what you do right now and every every pivot I feel it's like a growth spurt for us, would you?

spk_1:   13:51
0 100%. And you know, it's funny because this creation of this new business, I really feel like it's been this full circle moment for me. Oh, yes, and yet I believe our lives will be filled with full circle moment. So there's not really It's not like this, this place that arrived at where it's like. Okay, now I've got it figured out and onwards for the next 40 50 years of my life or whatever it may be seven years. I hope you're cool, but remain healthy. Yeah, you know, I I think I think unfortunately, that's a misconception a lot of us have. It's like you find your passion and then that slot. But as we just as we just talked about, we are not stagnant people were growing. We're constantly growing and evolving. And I fully believer expect that my passion, my drive, my vision could be drastically different 10 years from now. And I'm okay with that.

spk_0:   14:42
And that's something I had to learn. I really had to learn this last couple of years because I used to think Okay, that's the idea I want to go with for the next 20 or something, right? And then and then I don't know if that if that was like that for you, but, um, people have a hard time. I feel one understanding your attachment and what that comes with. Yeah, worked from home. But it's still work, right? It's yes, it's not like you're available for for whatever

spk_1:   15:08
three hour lunches a week s.

spk_0:   15:10
So that's something that have to do. And then the next step comes with, well, next step. Next 100 steps come with well, but what's what is she doing now? But it's a different business. So you know, people have a hard time understanding that, um I think that growth going from like one generation earlier, which was like 9 to 5, right and was cast scared, switching companies, even I, uh, and switching that kind of loyalty. Quote unquote. Um, so and now here we are. And it's just part of the journey, right?

spk_1:   15:41
Yes. Yeah, no. 100%. I

spk_0:   15:44
know that you mentioned it, and I love that. You know how it comes through to to me, listening to you and hotel this most today that that you're really, like in it to win it and really passionate about what you do. Yeah, Just, you know, going from there. Um, you have you had this big pivots and change, including oversee moves? Yeah. Is owner closing a business setting a new a new business? Um, has it been difficult to make such big shifts on? Why? Why not?

spk_1:   16:15
Oh, gosh, honestly, I feel like I have a different sort of philosophy or perspective unchanged on a lot of people. And, um I mean, for example, with this latest move to Germany, I I also moved to Sydney, Australia, in 2008. I lived there for a year and 1/2 and in

spk_0:   16:32
the same sentence inside of the globe.

spk_1:   16:34
I know. I like to say I've lived in three of the world's most expensive cities. The Hoover City and unit. All very beautiful. All very expensive. Yes, on I've loved it all. Um, you know, when that was a different experience in the sense that I was moving to another English speaking country. But I really moved there on my own. Where's this time coming back to Germany. In a sense, it felt like home because I had been here several times. Chris and I have been together for over 10 years now. We have a lot of friends and family here in Germany, so that made it easier. But I really, um you know it. Okay, so when you're young, we all have this interesting philosophy on time. We're like time and talk. Periods of time seems so long, like you can think about summer holidays. They seem to go on forever and, you know, eight hours and the cars like our entire lives. Where is for me? I see time is a very fluid thing, and I see physical space is something that, like, I almost want to say, It doesn't exist in a sense. And and that's that feeling that I have grows with the fact that we're so connected through no social media and you know all these messaging APS like What's up and so forth? So I really I don't steal far from the people that I'm close to and connected with. And I think for me, I've also always had very close connections and relationships with people in many different cities and countries. So, um, for me, coming to Germany, it's like I really I still feel very close to the people that are important to me. And I also have tried to position changes that I've made, not as what I'm a potentially be leaving behind, but what I stand to potentially gain. So, of course, leaving Vancouver t again use the example of moving to Germany. I knew that I would be able thio or pardon me, be missing out on some occasions. Like seeing my friends, kids get older or new babies being born or continuing to cultivate those relationships face to face. But I tended not to focus on that, but to think about, you know, who are those new people that I will forge relationships with in Germany? We mean what new experiences will be ableto have. How much will my life be enriched by the travel I will do. What will this mean for Chris and I in a relationship going out and setting up in the new new city and country. So I think it's like, always that looking forward and looking at what potential a situation holds. As opposed to focusing on everything you may be, quote unquote losing.

spk_0:   18:55
And is that something you also, you know, talk to your clients about, Yeah, our that pivoting and moving And, you know, just just not just moving house, but actually moving cultures, right? Mm. And cultural context now, languages even. Yeah, which are the essence writing off. You have to do a mother tongue. Um, how do you like when when a plan comes to you, you know? Yeah. How do you talk to them about that?

spk_1:   19:23
Yeah. I mean, I think people that have concerns about big changes and habits and, you know, they find themselves clinging to the things that they know and what's comfortable. It's really about trying to uncover you. What are the beliefs there? What are the fears that you have? What is that rooted in? What have you experienced this been so really trying to get a handle on, sort of like where that is coming from and hopefully trying to set were you shift their focus onto the vision and what lies ahead. So one of the key questions I'd like to ask myself are, Pardon me, Ask myself. Certainly about my clients is what kind of life are you building? And I think this is really important when we look at our businesses and professions as well, because so often it's easy to get focused on. Okay, I'm gonna create this business and it's gonna grow, and it's gonna be this big. And here's my revenue goals and et cetera, et cetera. But we forget to actually look at what do we want our lives to look at? Look like part of me? What's important to us? What is the day to day look like? What's the big picture? Do we want a life of flexibility? Do we wanna have location? Independence? Do we want to have a lot of times for friends and family? Do we want to be traveling? And from there are businesses reside in our lives? So I think it's super important for us to really get clear on what we want our lives to look like. And but certainly if you're looking to make a big change like let's say you're exploring an overseas is enough to say What are my values? What, what's important for me? And I know for me being, you know, exposed to new cultures. Thio traveled the world to have rich relationships with lots of different people. That's something that's very important. And that's a big component of my life, which made it easier for me to then make this change and made it less scary for me.

spk_0:   21:05
I love that. So So from I'm just, you know, make my we're just turning.

spk_1:   21:11
Where do you want to take this conversation? So many options.

spk_0:   21:15
So OK, so I think this just to make it take it from from absolutely inspiring to something they can be, you know, they can implement for listen, actionable Um what, like what would be like a starting 0.101 or, you know, said, you know, just to just to get them started. Yeah, I can see for themselves.

spk_1:   21:40
Yeah, well, like us, I mean, sitting down like to go back to the question. What kind of life In my building for myself. I've had a lot of insights that have really come from just writing things down from seeing my thoughts, my desires. You know, my worries, Whatever it may be on paper. So you start by looking at what do you want your data's data look like? Where do you see yourself spending time? Are you surrounded by other people? Are you working from home? Are you in close connection with people On a day to day? That was something that was really missing in my jewelry business. I wanted to be connected with people like you and I are right now. You having these deep conversations, getting to know each other, you know, inspiring one another. So you know, to really like in concrete terms, envision what is my day to day look like, You know, And then what's the big picture? So again for myself thinking about this product based business I had when I came to Germany, it became very clear that I wanted to be location independent. I didn't want to be reliant upon having like products that I needed to sell and get up to clients or having a brick and mortar space that I needed to attend to. But I wanted to be able to essentially get up and leave and go where I wanted at a moment's notice. You and other people don't want that. They say, you know, I want to have stability. I wanna have a cozy home base. And so I think getting clear on those things is really just painting on the vision, writing it down. Who are you surrounded by? Where are you? What is your data? They look like what are what are the must haves? What? You know, if for me, if I don't have connection with other people on an almost daily basis, it's I'm not a my mind is not a happy place to be. I get too much inside myself, and, you know, I really very quickly start to go down to kind of Ah, you know, a bad place.

spk_0:   23:31
Oh, I hear you on that one. It was like the first time we ever had that on air. And I think it's such a really liked such a Bella porn. So thank you for bringing that up. So you so you know something about like the thought Cara cells that you can't get out. Um, and for me, human interaction is the antidote to So I hear you on that one. Um, I'm asking myself, um, when you describe to us, what kind of left my building do you put a time stamp on that? Like I said, something you say, OK, this is your life. Five years from now, 10 because that's what I usually do is a five year. So now I have this vision. Yeah, I think you have decisions. I'm working and I always know to what end? You know, whatever I do. So is that like a time something or how do you handle

spk_1:   24:11
that? I don't personally, And it's really funny because, um, I don't think I've ever released that holds in traditional ways. And I've tried to get better at that in this new business to say, you know, like, what's my plan for next year? Where do I see this business going? And then it's six months. You know, how many clients do we wanna have? You know what kind of impact I want to be making? What's my revenue goal, et cetera. But I've actually always been a person that's really had trouble seeing things further than a year or so into the future. Um, maybe in broad terms, a ce faras you know where I want to be, what I want my life to look like and, even more importantly, how I want to steal he. But yeah, I've never been a person that's been very good to see you, too. Five years from now, 10 years from now, I'm not sure if it's because it's so abstract for me or because I know that my life has changed so much just in the last decade. But my you know, in the last decade I've lived in three different countries. I've had three very disparate professions. I There's not that many constants that I've had, except I would say a lot of the relationships in my life. So it's not to say that that doesn't work well, because I think it's about knowing what works well for you. So you got something that feels comfortable and you can It brings you a certain degree of Okay, this is where I see myself going. Therefore, I can plan all my actions in accordance with that, Um, like I say, I certainly have my my mind. My vision started on something, but I wouldn't say I had a time stamp attached to it.

spk_0:   25:34
Okay, that's that's new and really enlightening for me. Because because I have This does feel like I'm a rebel. Yet you are with you because I kind of learned to to do it with the time stamp, right? Just to help us have a comfortable to stuff. Um, your scenes fearless right s. I feel like you you're not someone who looks at the future and feels okay. I have to, you know, make these. You know, I have to make these these points and hit these marks. Yeah, something goes right, Right. Let's just listen to you. I feel like you're someone who looks at the future, is really feels about it. Really, like, excited in the best ways. And that's super super inspiring. Right? And I think so. Thank you for that.

spk_1:   26:18
Welcome. I own Senate e think one more thing to add to that is, But I mean, the problem with the future is we don't know, we don't, there's there's there's a lot we're in control of in our lives, and I do believe to a certain degree. V are masters of our own destiny. But there's certain external factors that we cannot control. And I've had that experience in my life such that I think sometimes we get so set on the five years from now, the 10 years from now or the time stamp of one thing should happen is that we forget to be present now and we forget to do things that will bring us Join now if everything I'm working towards is to a certain end five years from now, 10 years from now, whatever it may be, I think I see a lot of people just causing themselves misery in the intern. Like, you know, a lot of young people or even business owners. It's like I'm in a really, really grind it out for the next 5 10 years so that I can have a really good life when I'm in a 45 or 50 and I think it's important to look for a future is 100%. But I also don't think it should be at the sacrifice of our enjoyment of lives. Now life now

spk_0:   27:21
that's so wise. We go, do you know, like a lot of times we talk business strategy, marketing strategy. And, you know, I'm like ethical marketing. Everything I do is like I tried to to like a line to that part off being ethical and being mindful about things. But a lot of times, a lot of conversations circle around, okay? I'm happy to the other person saying I'm happy to burn the midnight oil for the next 3 to 5 years and against our living. And I had to learn that, too. That that's that can't be the way because we're Arco, a Sephora business, Right? And, yeah, I don't mind the core acid and are, like, protected. That could go terribly, but, I mean, I've had it. I've been burned out before and owner am hit you And how it took me more than a year to get back on track. Back on track. Yeah. I love that. You made that point. Thank you for that. You're welcome. Okay, So we started with with what kind of life am I living in my building, huh? But I know you have more questions that you brought it on e through them.

spk_1:   28:21
Of course. Yeah. So any mean in sort of the foundation of all of this is when we're determining where we want to go in our lives, what we want to do, who we want to be. It obviously requires a series of decisions and choices. And I think in my experience and working with clients, one of the best ways of making those choices is really being rooted in self knowledge. So the next question to ask yourself is, What are my values? You know what's important to me. What are the principles by which I live and those air gonna become sort of the benchmark by which you make certain decisions. So, you know, if honesty and truthfulness take precedence above all else, that's that's gonna have to be something that's baked into whatever it is you do, or even the smaller decisions that you make on a day to day basis. Um, you know, if if you know your family is the most important thing and that spending time, let's say being there for your kids when they get home from school at 3 30 in the afternoon, if that's the most important thing, you're gonna want to make sure that you're cultivating and creating a life or a business that supports that decision. And that and that value. Yeah. So, you know, maybe not working from an office or being able to leave at three o'clock or whatever it may be.

spk_0:   29:36
So we with Isa just open these 1st 2 What kind of building and the second would be? What are my values? Yeah, you know, we have, like, a We have almost like a like a You build a framework, right? Yes, I see. I got it. That's no

spk_1:   29:51
100%. Foundation was a word that came to my mind Framework Foundation. 100%. Yeah.

spk_0:   29:55
Yes. Okay. I love that. So we have questioned by one. What kind of meeting? Up. Listening to what? I'm have values. What's important to me. Oh, okay. Take us further.

spk_1:   30:07
Okay. Well, I mean, uh, let's see. Okay, I've got my papers out of order. I'm jumping ahead. So another question to ask yourself is, am I making this choice for myself? Or is this for someone else or more? Simply put, who is this choice for? Yes. And the background for this question is I think a lot of us become very disconnected from what it is that we actually want for ourselves in our own lives. What our desires are, what's important for us because there's so much outside noise from society. What gender roles were assigned to us, what our family's launch, What our parents said we should do Or you know, whether whether directly or, you know, that was like the subconscious message that we got that me really allow ourselves inside track from what our own true desire wish passion calling you name it is

spk_0:   31:03
Do you like, like in that question? Am I making this choice for me? Who am I making this choice for is the stuff we interpret into. You know what other people might think of us? The way they look at us, the way they you know, um think of us as not runner or not. If they take a series of you know, all those,

spk_1:   31:22
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of us we make our decisions from this place of, like, fear or doubt, because we we can hear whether we actually hear it or whether it's just, you know, a seven track going in our mind. What other people might be saying about her choices. Oh, well, you know, being an entrepreneur, that's not really a job, you know. You wanna go work for you here in Germany. It's like you wanna work for Mercedes? Death's a big corporation. Has a lot

spk_0:   31:49
of names like name dropping, like a usual thing you do in Germany, like,

spk_1:   31:54
Yeah, no, very much so, Yeah, And there's nothing wrong with that life, you know, I used to help people. If you want to go work for, you know, a big corporation like a Mercedes Benz or you want to go work for an Amazon, that's fantastic if that's what you want. But I think so many times we get sidetracked because you think it is this whole thing like that's just the way things are. That's just what you do. So I tell people, you know, just imagine for a second to suspend your disbelief. And if and whoever his voice is loud and loud in your head, you know it. Let's say, if your parents, um, you know, influence didn't matter if your parents thoughts on this didn't matter. What is it that you pursued you? Let's say somebody saying, You know, I'm trying. Decide for my university if I want to do engineering busy. No, My father was an engineer. My grandfather was an engineer. Or whether I want to pursue a liberal arts degree. You know, if if your family's input didn't matter, which path would you choose? I don't. Well, I wouldn't be an engineer. I'd go to the liberal arts studio.

spk_0:   32:52
You know, I love the question because it sounds like a simple question when you look like when you first kind of think about step there. But they're so much stuff that, like, like, you know, burdens us, like, you know, family, family history. Um, all this stuff all the big box of junk. That's your child. Yeah. Others have comes into decision making as adults, I think yes, you

spk_1:   33:18
would be breathing was about to speak. I e so excited. No. You know, what I was gonna say is I think that all of these questions and it's funny because a lot of these questions you may have heard before and they may not seem birds chattering dust. I know even myself, when I was going through this process of deciding whether I should close my business and what I wanted to next. It's kind of like, Oh, yeah, Okay. You know what I want to do or what are my skills? What's important to me? Like ho ho, my kind of knew all this, but actually doing the work and actually answering those questions is something different. And I just want to tell you a very quick story when I was working in advertising sales, my last, you know, full time corporate job. I have forever been talking about going full time with my jewelry. I was running the business alongside this, this sales job, and for literally months and months and years and years, I had wanted to give notice, but it never seemed like the right timing. It was always, you know, okay at the end of this quarter, once I get my next commission payout or whatever it may be, and my husband said to me one day, he said, You know what he said. I think the only reason you have not given notice that your job yet is because you don't want to disappoint. No, who was my sales manager? And also, if you're a friend of mine. And it was this Oh, my God. Moment. I thought that's 100% it. I don't want to disappoint Mill. And of course, the next question. Waas Why am I living my life for Mel? Bless his heart, E What the heck? Whose life is it? It's Kelly's life, you know, And and so it was. It wasn't even in my awareness that I was making my choice. And I quite literally went in the next day and gave my notice. But sorry. No way. He was disappointed, you know. He'd get over it,

spk_0:   34:53
you know? So you get this. Ah ha! Moment. Yeah. And next day you took action.

spk_1:   34:58
Yeah, I love that. I've been thinking about it a long time, though. It was funny because I'm one of those people. I think outward eyes. I'm very decisive. They're like, Holy. Where did that come from? You know what? I'm the kind of person like, Hey, I'm moving to Australia next month, so prize. But, you know, I do a lot of thinking, a lot of journaling, a lot of discussion with with certain close friends and family members. But a lot of that's very much behind the scenes that were looking eyes. So then when I make these choices, it's like Holy smokes. Where did that come from?

spk_0:   35:27
On this welcome to my life. So usually when people say Okay, where'd that come from? Usually say, you know, it's been in the room. I thought, Carol So for months? For years? Sometimes, yes, yes. So and now it's just it's just ready to go for, you know, it's just reckon role for some reason, um, when actually know where you're coming from. But, you know, still having this ah ha moment and then going in next day and quitting and, you know, just taking the step. That's amazing to me. Uh, even just tell you, I know that I want to live full time by the ocean, or this was an ocean view by the water at some you know, some kind water, Camelia Lake or something? Um, I want to live there full time by 45 so I know that what? I'm absolutely certain I'm going to do it, but you know, some problem is, like, really just right now because of thing. Okay, so there's not a version of me in some parallel universe that kind of have that Ah ha moment that I'm happy And just when you know, just got up and did it. Yeah. So that's like, that's, like, really something. I think that's really like hats off to you for that. Thank

spk_1:   36:38
you. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think there's like, there's there's the intermediary that taking the steps to get there. So for yourself, it might be saying Okay, you know, can I go spend a summer by the sea? No, I know you mentioned you. You know, you've been to Canada and meet you in Vancouver. I think you said it's the city that serves cold. You're maybe like Vancouver Island or something like that. So hey, maybe there's an opportunity for you to go try that on for size and go work there for eight weeks and to rent a cabin and to see without experience is like and it gives you that taste, and it brings it that little bit closer so that you can really you start to the hone in on how they're going to get there. What? What pieces need to be in place in order for me to make that because this logistical things in our life, like, I mean for me leaving my advertising sales job like I was saving up money for a long period of time. Yes. Um, I was making sure my business was at the point that it needed to be in order for me to rationalize leaving. So, um yeah, there's a particle side, for

spk_0:   37:30
sure. I love how you set into perspective, because I know a lot of lessons will be like, Okay, so maybe something's wrong with me, because I don't have that in me to, like, you know, do it now anyway, huh? And then the difference between wanting to do it and doing it actually right between inspiration. And there it is. That's, like, huge difference between the two and a lever that into perspective by saying you had that plan. Your head you were saving up, you were kind off. You know, building that path before you want. Definitely. I think that's a big one. Okay. Yeah. For for those listening in, we have Western number one. And please correct me if

spk_1:   38:10
you come up with something better.

spk_0:   38:12
What kind of life? In my building questioning me too. What Emma values what's important to me. Yeah. Inquest number three Am I making this choice for me or Santa?

spk_1:   38:25
Yeah. Yes, you got it. E causing because there's so much to say on all of these. But let's let's look forward. I'm not gonna go backwards cause I'm like, Oh, I could you know, I could have this and say that Clarify that. But, um okay, so the next question is actually one of my very favorite. And it's kind of a new take on, like the pros and cons list, which I think, you know, we could go crazy with pros and Collins exploring all the different possible choices we can make. But the question I ask myself is, is what I will gain from this path greater than what I have to lose. And of course, there's, You know, this is somewhat subjective, but I'm gonna use since we were talking about the oversea moves, move part of me or moves us. It was my case as an example. License and cover was good. So we you know, we had a lot of good friends there. We had a great apartment. It's a good lifestyle. It's a great country, Canada. And I have a lot of German saying to me like, Why did you ever leave Canada so beautiful that one of them, you know, it's but so is Germany, and all of these things are true. But when I looked at the potential that on experience of living overseas would hold for me and and, you know, I kind of cheated because I'd already done it before. So I knew some of the great things it could. It could holds for me. But I looked at all that potential of Okay, I'm gonna be living in the middle of Europe. I'm gonna be so closely situated to all of these different cities and countries that I can travel in, I'm gonna be exposed to a new culture, new traditions. I'm gonna have the chance to hopefully finally hone in on and polish up my German. I'm still not fluent, but I'm getting there very slowly. Um, you know, I looked at the relationships that Chris had left when you moved to Canada in 2009 and I thought, Okay, we're gonna have a chance to, like, really more deeply cultivate the family connections and the friendships that we have. I looked at the potential health. Our relationship, you know, for us to grow, hopefully grow together. As we moved to this new country together Jump Christmas, obviously German, but, uh, Munich was a new city for him. So those were all the things that I stood to quote unquote gain. Whereas by leaving Vancouver, I asked myself, What am I gonna lose out on by leaving here? And I truly believe that the people I'm close to and those great relationships I have, I can maintain those from afar, and those will be there for me. Um, of course. You know, there's certain, you know, we had an annual Thanksgiving. We love to do with friends. And, um, you know, I have friends who've had babies and kids and so forth and watching them grow and real time, That's something different than the way we can keep our relationships with adults over No social media or whatever, but for me yet when I looked at it this way, you know, but what I have to gain versus what I had to lose it became very clear that I stood to gain so much more than what I might potentially lose by leaving.

spk_0:   41:06
And, you know, I just There's when you listed your kind of sort of ones that you didn't just take into account. What? So what? You would get out of it. But you, you know, you took into a campaign of your partner. No family, loved ones. Even then, it may not be related, but you know how to, you know, you took into a kind of the people and yeah, it's like a really? Because my initial question would be not just what would I gain from this path? Yeah, where there's like, but that's a big job, but well, it's like the greater good. Come in. Yes. My role in the big picture here, Right? Yeah. This is my calling is it is just like I read something of substance, usually watch documentaries, and I see Panama right now. Oh, my gosh. I want to go there. Right? Her. That would be something that that would be amazing for me. I love troubling, but but then it always come back to okay. What's my part in the big picture? You know what's my role here? Yeah, And I feel like you you didn't take that into account. Definitely,

spk_1:   42:07
Yeah, it's important. I mean, even with the previous question, Am I making this choice of myself? For someone else like, the fact is, we don't make our choices in a bubble. What we do will ultimately impact other people, and we will have to take those factors into account. But I think it's also important for us first to get clear on what it is we want and then to say, OK, there's certain, you know, sometimes it's sacrifices Sometimes, um, you know, and that's not comply. Making choices for other people is always a sacrifice that sometimes the timing, our situation. You know, if we have Children, whatever it may be, we like certain things just aren't gonna be feasible for us or don't make sense because it's gonna negatively impact someone else. Um, so, yeah, I mean, certainly we need we need to look at all those factors, but I think by starting to look at what our own drives and desires are, we can I think when we are happy and we're following our path and are calling it automatically is going to be positively impactful for other people.

spk_0:   43:00
Oh, Yeah, right there with you. Okay, so that's questioning before. One more question is greater than what? I have to lose a question before. Yeah. Um okay. Question for I give it to us.

spk_1:   43:14
All right. It's quick. It's pretty straightforward. I mean, um, and this could be a hard actually really hard one for us to tap into you, but the question is, does this choice feel bullet? Okay, I like it because again, like I think, you know, on paper. And when we look at things objectively, sometimes things just make good sense. It's like, you know, let's say a certain career. Let's use the Mercedes Benz example, you know? Well, you know, it pays well. It's a well respected company. Um, you know, there's stability there and so forth and so forth. But if you say to me, you know what the thought of going working at Mercedes Benz or continuing to work there, whatever it may be, it just makes me feel like total hell, I think I just don't see a situation in which you can then rationalize doing that s O. And this is hard because I think a lot of us are pretty disconnected from what actually feels good in our body and what feels right.

spk_0:   44:08
I was going to ask you stuff like a body, like a physical reactions.

spk_1:   44:12
I think so. You know when it's it's different for everybody. So I think you know, some of us, we feel things more in our gut. Some of us feel things more in our heart. Some of us e think it's really about knowing ourselves and where what feels good on what feels bad where it is in our body, and I may be different for all of us. But I think most of us, when we ask yourself a question when we consider, um when we consider it like various options, we have an immediate sort of response that comes up and it usually is a feeling in our bodies, and I think we need to listen to that, and that could be really hard. That can be in this position when the evidence is to the contrary, right?

spk_0:   44:52
Absolutely. I mean, there's a left, a ton of outside voices and we tend to listen to them because we value them, you know, higher. Then we do in our, you know, kind of soul searching our heart of hearts voice, You know, that kind of talk. So as all the live long day, doesn't it? Well, for me? Um So I feel like even though it's a simple question, that's distressing Good. That that could be for well, just going for myself. That could be layers and layers said You have to uncover and, you know, just pull back and yeah, hell, what's going on with your, you know, just again, you inside your soul with whatever decision you're facing.

spk_1:   45:29
Yeah, yeah, And it's funny because any and I was gonna mention this a few minutes ago and it just comes to mind again. I I sort of have these different pillars of clarity. I pull them and they're sort of the different components, or like factors to consider when you are trying to get clarity on a particular situation or broadly speaking. And one of those factors is time. And I do think, you know you're talking about time stamps before. I don't think unfortunately, it's gonna be different for all of us. There's no prescribed amount of time that's gonna take for us to come to these conclusions, and I think even sometimes we have a certain knowing of what? Our path Maybe, but we're just, for whatever reason, not ready yet to make that choice. Oh, yeah. Um, you know, I can think of a romantic relationship is a great example of, you know, sometimes it looks good on paper, right? It's like he or she checks all the boxes and your family loves them, and they have a great job, and they treat you well, whatever it may be. But there's a stealing on this. Knowing like, this is not the right person, and it's never as quite as clear cut is like Okay, well, we break up the next day. Sometimes it gets dragged on and on for months and months and years. But I think there's often and knowing in our bodies are our hearts, our minds. But it's not the right thing.

spk_0:   46:31
And I think that's a really amazing example, because I think one of the thing that holds us back and puts these roadblocks in front of us, even though we may sense what's what would be right for ourselves. You know what would be the right decision is that we do love safety and comfort so much. Right? Hurry with this amazing person. A CZ you said You, I mean, takes all the books, checks all the boxes. Um, and it's safe and it's comfortable. Uh, and then I have, like, really have encountered anyone who went okay, so that didn't feel, didn't feel like he wants the right fit anymore. So I I got a lead on left, right? So it's a process. It's again growing. And guess going to yourself going into decision?

spk_1:   47:14
Maybe. Yeah, yeah, I like that. Like what you say growing into a decision, I think somebody's. We almost have our sights set on that decision. But we ourselves are not there yet.

spk_0:   47:25
Yes, yes, absolutely. I think it's a great sent him to wrap it up.

spk_1:   47:31
I was gonna say this was a big one. I don't know about you, but who left Earth shattering? Ah, and there's and there's more. There's always more right. There's always more questions you can ask. There's different, always different angles to approach things. Those are just some of the questions that have been, I think, helpful for me and my process of going from this confusion to clarity and hopefully will be helpful for others.

spk_0:   47:56
And before we wrap up before, we were about to say, Yeah, we mention that trellis knows that. Of course. Um, this this wonderful interview episode comes with the bones because county don't, is it? Um um, principal Pdf like a like a guide with questions and not just question, but actually the actual walk through to get to What do you want to go right from? Yeah, hit and with Temple. Like, I think

spk_1:   48:23
I've got some examples in there and sort of helping you. Yes. Yeah. And some of them have, ah, like, secondary question. So if there is another way of looking at that because sometimes we ask yourselves this question or these questions and you think I don't know, I haven't wanted to yet, so Yeah, hopefully having those and being able to, like, do some journaling or writing around it will be help.

spk_0:   48:41
So if you're looking to see if you're in, like, a decision making process process or just, you know, looking to have that on the back burner for the future go to beautify. Come forward slash county. That's k e l t e um, and you condone of that. And check out the check out this episode, Of course. Of course. Check out the show notes and down of the P f. And, um, go and be happy to

spk_1:   49:06
go and be happy. Sound so much easier than it is sometimes, right? Yes. Yes. But that's an episode for another day. E was going to say, Come back soon. Let's talk about that. Yeah, of course. Thank you so much. Nicole. This is a wonderful conversation.

spk_0:   49:23
Thank you so much for being here. Today Was such a joy to it wasn't so much fun talking to you. Um, and I hope you'll be back soon.

spk_1:   49:31
Of course. A service. You invite me? It's a standing invitation. Okay, We'll see you tomorrow. And

spk_0:   49:38
for you and for everyone listening Bringing her space between where you are now and where you wanna be inspire you to greatness And, you know, maybe happy and healthy and safe and all the good things and I'll talk to you soon. Bye bye. Okay. All right.